Military Jokes

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I asked my veteran friend what the first ranking is in the military, but I couldn't get a straight answer.
He just kept telling me it's private.

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So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today.
That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.

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I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!
[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

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Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?
They have no rights

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In Germany, we know of a joke
The French military.

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What's the most american US military branch?
The Air Force. They're USAF.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject?
Arrrrrrrrt.
What's a pirate's favorite body part?
The arrrrrm.
What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
No. The Navy you idiот.

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What is the national bird of Pakistan?
An american military drone

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I was kicked out of the military because I got gonorrhea
It was a dishonorable discharge

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The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.
Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

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I saw a veteran begging in the street which made me very upset
But then I remembered I wasn't required to give the military quarters.

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Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks?
So that they can see the battle.

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Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?
He was arrested for possession of an Аssаulт Rafale.

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I just bought a surplus French military rifle.
Only dropped once.

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While in the military I experienced both mustard gas and pepper spray...
I am a seasoned veteran.

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A young man goes to a military recruiting office and takes the required tests. The results aren’t great but the recruiter thinks he has potential to be in the Navy.
His scores were suboptimal.

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Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships?
So they could Scandinavian

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If the U. S. military is called in to keep order, protestors need to switch tactics for distracting them from lasers and road cones
To dumping oil everywhere.

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