Newest jokes

Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”
His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?
She just couldn't control her pupils!

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School Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Teacher:
“I hope I won’t catch you copying from Clarissa!”
Paula:
“Oh, I hope so too!“

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School Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What keeps going up and down but doesn't move? - The temperature!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Can you name a city where no one ever goes? - Electricity.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Why does the traffic light go red sometimes?
So would you if you had to change in the middle of a busy intersection!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Teacher:
"You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger:
"I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
Teacher:
"Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."

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School Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Why does Little Johnny always tiptoe past the medicine box?
He’s afraid what would happen if he woke up the sleeping pills.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Cute little bunny walks into a pharmacy and asks if they have carrot ice cream.
“No. This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell ice cream.”
Bunny leaves. But it comes back the next day and again asks, “Do you have carrot ice cream?”
“No, Bunny! This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell ice cream!“
Bunny leaves – but comes again the next day. And the next day, and so on, until after about two weeks, the pharmacist caves in and personally gets carrot ice cream for the next time the bunny comes.
The bunny does come, and again asks, “Do you have carrot ice cream?”
“Today, Bunny, today we do!” smiles the pharmacist.
The bunny says:
“Well then don't eat it. It tastes horrible!“

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

I have hands but I can never clap. What am I?
The clock.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Little Johnny: Mom, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Johnny’s Mom: OK, let’s hear the good news first.
Little Johnny: I got a B in Math today.
Johnny’s Mom: That’s good! And now the bad one.
Little Johnny: That was a lie.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Peter, where did you put the siеvе?
Sorry, mommy, I threw it away. There were too many holes in it.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

80 chimneys plus 5 chimneys plus 8 chimneys.
What is the result?
Lots of smoke.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Father: And, how do you like going to school?
Son: Well, the going bit is OK, the coming home bit is fine too, but the time in between kind of ruins it!

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School Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What is the preferred food of runners?
Fast food.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Do trains eat? - Well they do go chew-chew…

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Mother knocks on her son’s door, “It’s late. Are you still behind your computer screen playing video games?“
The son replies, “Of course not. I’m in front of it.”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What has a 1000 legs but can't walk?
500 pairs of pants.

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