Newest jokes - Page 766

How many bodybuilders does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Four. One bodybuilder to sсrеw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, “Really, dude, you look huge !”

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Fitness jokes

Guys, enough with the Asian jokes...they're all the same.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Asian jokes

What do you call a dentist in the army?

A drill sergeant!

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Dentist Jokes Military Jokes

A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?"
The clerk says to her, "Just a second."
The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.

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Aviation Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Rabbit:
"I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend:
"Don't worry; be hoppy!"

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Friendship Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

If you paint your finger purple, and wiggle it in the air, is it ... FingerPrince?

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Music and Musician Jokes

There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course.

He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy.

"Tell me your choice;" said he to the boy, "What's your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind."

The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said:
"It's the DAY, sir."

"How???????" the interviewer was smiling ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.)

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Admission for the course was thus secured.

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College jokes Men jokes School Jokes

Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gаy bar.
One соndом says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shiт-faced?"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy said "What?"
"I'll shave the mane on my horse." Let's do it!” So the cowboy shaves the mane on his horse. But after a while the mane grew back. The cowboys are having a really hard time telling them apart. Then the one cowboy said, "I've got it! "What? What? What’s your idea now? says the other"
"I'll cut the tail on my horse really small."
"Alright! Let's do it!" So he cut the tail really short. But after a while it grew back. "Then the second cowboy said, "OK, this time I've got it!" You take the black one and I'll take white one!!!!"

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes

With the new Apple Watch, you only have to pull your hand out of your pocket to let everyone know that you’re a сunт.

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Science jokes

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.

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Political Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Two fаgs are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a
dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it.
Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying
"Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage.
I Had A Miscarriage."
He runs into the woods to see what is going on.
When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had a Miscarriage...
He looks down and says,"Don't be silly.
You didn't have a miscarraige.
You had diarrhea on a toad."

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I say to my son, What are you going to be for Halloween? He goes, Im going to be Frankenstein. And I say, OK. Halloween comes, he walks downstairs, hes got, like, an old suit jacket of mine on, old suit pants, his face is painted green.... I say, What are you supposed to be? He goes, Im Frankenstein! I said, No, youre not. You are the creature. Frankenstein was the doctor who invented the creature. Its a common literary mistake, but you just made it, my friend. Go upstairs and change.

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Halloween Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

My wife and I were out for an anniversary meal.
“Eurgh. Did you just pick your nose and wipe it under the table?” she asked.
“Errrrrr. How did you know?”
“It’s a glass table”.

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Wedding jokes

A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
- Dr, I can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
- Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
...
- Dr, what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
- Oh very well, now about your hearing...

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Old People Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Drug Jokes

Раddy is booking into a guest house and looking around the reception when he notices a sign on the wall.
He asks the owner, “What time do you get in?”
The owner looks confused and says, “Well, I’m the owner, I live here. Why do you ask?”
Раddy says, “Well, on that sign there it says, ‘Guests have to be in before you!’ ”
The owner replies, “You seem to have misunderstood Sir!
It says, ‘Guests must be in before 1 am!
===

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Irish jokes

I took four tires to a friend’s garage sale and was asking $35 apiece. I needed to step away for a bit so I asked him to watch them for me.

"Sure," he said, "but just in case someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?"

"Try for more, but I will accept $20 each," I said, and left.

When I returned, my tires were gone. "How much did you get for them?" I asked excitedly.

"Twenty dollars each."

"Who bought them?"

"I did!"

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Business jokes Friendship Jokes

A man bought a new car.
Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal.
Suddenly he opened the door and got down.
Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?"
The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?"
Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road:
"Free Left Turn"

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.

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Military Jokes Animal Jokes

White owl: who who
Black owl: who dat who dat

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Animal Jokes

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