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Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
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I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.
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A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He asks the bartender for a вееr, and one for the road.
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I hate Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and half of Friday...
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Ah, 'Friday'... my second favorite F-word.
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How did the blonde break her arm while raking leaves?
She fell out of a tree.
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Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Orange Juice Carton
Yo mama is so stupid
Pourquoi une blonde fixe son verre de jus d'orange pendant 10 minutes avant de le boire ? Parce qu'il est écrit dessus : concentré.
Din mamma är så dum att hon satt i en hel timme och tittade på juice-förpackningen
¿ Por qué los atlantes se quedan viendo fijamente un jugo? Porque dice: CONCENTRADO.
De ce se hoalba o blonda la o cutie de suc de portocale? Pentru ca pe cutie scrie CONCENTRAT!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Why was the blonde staring at the Orange Juice?
Because it said concentrate!
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How do you кill a blonde?
Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom of a pool.
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Female Lawyer vs. Pitbull
C'est quoi la différence entre une belle-mère et un pit-bull?
Каква е разликата между жена адвокат и питбул? - Червилото
Qual a diferença entre a mulher e o leão?
Hvad er forskellen på en kvindelig advokat og en pitbull? - Læbestift.
Vad är skillnaden mellan en kvinnlig genusforskare och en rottweiler? – Läppstift.
- Mi a különbség egy női ügyvéd és egy vérengző pitbull között? - ??? - A nő szája ki van rúzsozva.
- Что отличает женщину
- Vad är det för skillnad mellan en kvinnlig advokat och en pitbullterrier? Läppstift.
What's the difference between a woman with РМS and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
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My doctor was giving me a hard time about my health. To get back on his good side I bought a puppy and named him 'Five Miles'.
That way, when I went to see my doctor I could tell him, "I walk five miles every morning!"
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Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
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Why did the doctor carry out blood tests on the secretarial candidates?
So that he could eliminate type-O's.
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Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?
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It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
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BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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After Sunday school
Q: Why do we have to be quiet in church? A: Because people are sleeping!
Lezione di catechismo. L’insegnante chiede ai bambini: “Lo sapete perché bisogna fare silenzio in chiesa?” Pierino
Sekmadieninės mokyklos mokytoja paklausė savo vaikų
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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Sеx is not the answer. Sеx is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
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