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Rick Ross: I had to hustle to get to the top. You know, carry those bricks.
Police Officer: Oh, hey William. I havent seen you since the police academy.

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Q:What's Rihanna's favorite verse from a song? A: Hit me baby 1 more time!

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When did the VMA'S turn into Viewing Miley's Аss?

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We said to god we would trade justin beiber for michael jackson, but we realized god wouldn't even want justin beiber.......

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At the barbers yesterday, I asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise, so he gave me a cushion to sit on.

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What kind of name would Miley Cyrus and Terminator gave to their first baby?
The Twerkinator!

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Why did Jacko always wear one white glove?
So he could tell when he’d finished his mars bar..

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People have put Kim and Kanye’s names together to get, ‘Kimye’…. I think a more accurate name would be..
Slunt.

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Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year, just proves that men are better at everything, including, being a woman.

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This week Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her third child.
So she now holds the record for the most times a Kardashian has experienced labor.

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How come you can play guitar and harmonica at the same time, like, you know, Bob Dylan or Neil Young? You're a genius. Make that extra effort to strap some cymbals to your knees, and people will cross the street to get the hеll away from you.

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What do you call a Cuban dictator with no head?
Infidel Castro.

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All Jay-Z’s problems have been undone by his brother, Ctrl-Z.

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Kayne West is said to be recovering well in hospital after a nine hour operation to remove his head from his аrsеhоlе.

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What do Ziplock bags, Barbie dolls, Nicki Minag and Kim West have in common?
They're all at least 90% plastic.

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I wonder what chairs think about all day:
Oh here comes another аsshоlе.
~ Robin Williams

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Friend:you know I have respect for nicki minaj Alex:why Friend:because since she's mostly made out of plastic she can easily be recycled

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Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, walking, living doll.
No Cliff, that’s not a doll.

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