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Michael J Fox was arrested today for shoplifting.
Serves the thick сunт right for trying to steal a tambourine.

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I was asked today if I liked Beyonce. I said, “Are you joking? I would liск the shiт from her аrsеhоlе.”
“Erm… OK…” my Gran replied. “Does that mean you’d like her album for your birthday?”

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Justin Bieber apparently treated himself to a private jet this year for Christmas.
I’m treating him to an early birthday present.
I’ve paid for him to have a Malaysian pilot for as long as it takes.

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Did anyone hear about that new reality show Justin Bieber's got out now?
It's called "Leave it to Bieber"!

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Lil' Wayne taught me that if you are drowning in the рussy you can just swim to the вuтт. Which is really good to know because I hate drowning.

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Justin Bieber will reportedly spend the next two weeks with a pastor to learn how to spread the word of God. “It won’t be easy, but I think it will make me a better person” - said the pastor.

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If I was Miley Cyrus I'd shoot myself but if I was Katy Perry or Scarlett Johansson I'd play with my тiтs!!

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Last night, at the Country Music Awards, Kim Kardashian tripped on her way to the stage. It was a good ol' country hoedown!

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If Will. I. Am’s gravestone doesn’t say Will. I. Was, I’ll be pretty disappointed

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Taylor Swift has five hundred songs about guys leaving her and none about вlоw-jobs.
Do you see where I’m going with this?

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WARNING! There’s a link going around it says download the latest Cliff Richard Christmas track whatever you do don’t click on it, it’s actually a link to download the latest Cliff Richard Christmas track.
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The good news about Joan Rivers’ death is that the body can go straight to Madame Tussauds

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A teacher asks the class to form a sentence with the word Celebrities,so little Timmy says,
“Celebrities get treated better.”
“That sentence is way too short,Timmy.” says the teacher.
“I know,” says Timmy, “Judge Masipa is useless.”

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The man who released the nudе photos of celebrities is admitting he’s on the run.
However, he’s been given asylum by a shadowy group known only as “guys.”

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Well it's official I'm engaged. Someone just needs to let Katy Perry know so we can get the date set.

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Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher.

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Beyonce’s twins will never have to work a day in their life. She should name one of them Lay-Z

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The worst television is MTV. 'Music Television' -- they call it that, they don't even play music. How's that legal? What if everybody did that? 'Hey, thanks for calling New York Pizza.'
'Yeah, give me two large pepperoni pizzas.'
'Oh, we don't sell pizza.'
'What?'
'No, we just have raccoon hats and eye patches. Call a book store if you're hungry.'

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