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Вицове за програмисти English Programmierwitze Chistes de programadores Анекдоты для программистов Blagues de programmeurs Barzellette per programmatori Αστεία για προγραμματιστές Вицови за програмери Programcı Şakaları Жарти для програмістів Piadas de programadores Kawały programistów Programmerarskämt Programmeurgrappen Programmørvitser Programmerervitser Ohjelmoijavitsit Programozói viccek Glume pentru programatori Vtipy o programátorech Programuotojų juokai Programmētāju joki Vicevi za programere
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Programmer Jokes

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A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.
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Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
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A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
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Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.
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To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.
Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
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Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip
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Only 3 things that are infinite
1.Human Stupidity
2.Universe
3.WinRar Trial
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A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
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What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.
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How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
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