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Вицове за програмисти English Programmierwitze Chistes de programadores Анекдоты для программистов Blagues de programmeurs Barzellette per programmatori Αστεία για προγραμματιστές Вицови за програмери Programcı Şakaları Жарти для програмістів Piadas de programadores Kawały programistów Programmerarskämt Programmeurgrappen Programmørvitser Programmerervitser Ohjelmoijavitsit Programozói viccek Glume pentru programatori Vtipy o programátorech Programuotojų juokai Programmētāju joki Vicevi za programere
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Programmer Jokes

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How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
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99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
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There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
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If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
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How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!
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What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
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10 Arten von Menschen 10 Τύποι 10 вида хора (двоично) Съществуват 10 вида хора. Тези които разбират двоичен код Es gibt genau 10 Typen von Menschen. Solche Il y a 10 types de personnes dans le monde : ceux qui comprennent le binaire et les autres. Et ceux qui ne s'attendaient pas à ce que cette blague soit en base 3 Hay 10 tipos de personas Es gibt 10 Arten von Menschen in der Welt. Die einen verstehen das Binärsystem und die anderen nicht! Ci sono 10 categorie di persone: chi comprende il sistema binario e chi non lo comprende. Existem somente 10 tipos de pessoas no mundo inteiro: Aquelas que entendem binário e aquelas que não entendem. Ci sono solo 10 tipi di persone al mondo… quelle che comprendono il binario e quelle che non lo comprendono. Det finns tio typer av människor: De som förstår binära och de som inte gör det. Exista 10 tipuri de oameni: cei care inteleg numerele binare si cei care nu. Існує 10 типів людей: ті Et finns ju 10 typer av människor There are 10 kinds of people: 1. Those who understand binary. 10. Those who don't understand this joke.
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular s*ex.
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Two programmers walked along the street. They saw a beautiful blonde not far away and one of them said,
"Too bad that girls has no standard interface."
"They have," replied the other programmer, "but there is no standard way to get to it."
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
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Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse?
They just seemed to click.
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A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fаn.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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What is the object oriented way of getting rich? Обектно ориентиран начин за забогатяване - чрез наследяване
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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