This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day aboard his assigned ship, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around,
“Ah, um, what do you guys do here when you get really hоrny after months of being out at sea?”, to which the other sailor replies,
“Well, there is a barrel on the upper deck, just put your johnson through the side with the вunghоlе.”
Well, weeks pass, and the new guy is getting really hоrny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. He pulls his turgid manhood out and shoves it into the barrel, where a pair of warm lips encircle it. It is simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, truly a success!
After he was done, he zipped up and merrily walked away. Day after day, he takes advantage of the delights of the barrel.
One morning, he places Mister Happy in the barrel and nothing happens. He tries a few minutes later … nothing. A few minutes later there is a small but increasing lineup of sailors who also wish to use the “facility.”
Then, along comes the guy who originally told him about the barrel.
“That barrel really is great! But today, nothing is happening!”
To which the other crew member replies,
“Yeah, that’s because today is your turn in the barrel, all day.”
Little Johnny meets a pirate with a wooden leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The boy asks, “Wow Mr. Pirate, what’s the story with your leg, sir?”
The pirate answers:
“A shark bit it off.”
Johnny replies, “Cool… and what happened with your hand?” The pirate answers, “Another pirate chopped it off in a sword fight.”
The boys is overawed and keeps on, “And what happened to your eye?!” The pirate replies, “Um, a seagull pooped on it.”
The boy is astonished, “Oh boy, you can lose an eye from that?!” The pirate shrugs, “Not normally, but I’ve only had the hook for about a day when that happened.”