Jokes about Sailors

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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.
(Saying it out loud might help)

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What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg?
Names

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I convinced my fellow pirate to try hеrоin.
Now he's hooked.

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Have you heard of the famous pirate who peed on underage girls?
His name was Arr Kelly

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A man was walking alone on a beach when he came across a pirate. The pirate asked him “where are your buccaneers matey?”. So the man replied:
“Under my buccan hat”

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A blond, a rabbi, a schoolkid, a lawyer, a рrоsтiтuте, the pope, a pirate and George Bush walk into a bar...
The bartender says:
Is this a joke?

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What does a baby pirate wear?
A diap-arrrrrrrr.
*Courtesy of my 4year old*

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A pirate is having lunch with Guns n Roses guitarist Slash
Slash tells a story that the pirate obviously knows is fake and the pirate says “Arrr Slash, quit your вullshiт”

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Did you hear about the angry movie thief complaining about their local bakery?
It was an irate pirate pie rate

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What do you get when you cross a feline, a pirate and a middle eastern country?
Qatar

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Where does a pirate bury his captured treasure?
A воотy hole

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What military branch does a pirate join?
The Arrrrrrrrmy

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Why did the pirate fall in love with the stable girl?
He has a fetish for barn-ankles.

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Now that Game of Thrones is ending, you know who my dad thinks should write pirate books?
George "Arrre Arrre" Martin
I'm sorry.

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What did the pirate say when he noticed his welding gas was missing?
Aaar gone!

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Where did the pirate do his gardening
In the yarrrrrrrrrrrrd

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A pirate walks into a psychiatrists office...
With a ships wheel hanging out of his pants zipper. The doctor says,
"Do you know you have a ships wheel there?"
The pirate replies,
"Ayy and it's driving me nuts!"

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Where would a pirate work in a corperation?
The H' Arrrr department!

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