School jokes, Teacher Jokes

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What do you call a teacher that doesn't like kids coloring outside of the lines?
Border Patrol

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Today, my teacher asked me to summerize my work...
So, I took out all the parts about polar bears and eskimos.

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Earlier today, I was at the swimming pool with my gym class. The teacher yelled at me for peeing in the pool, and I replied that everyone pees in the pool
"Yeah, but not from the diving board" was his reply!

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A kid hand in his homework and the teacher says,
"You're presentation is misssing."
And the kid replies with,
"Oh I'm sorry. Ladies and gentlements, my HOMEWORK"

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Teacher: class let’s do math.
Teacher: so bob has 25 candy bars he eats 10. What does bob have
Student: 15 CANDY BARS
Teacher: no bob has diabetes.

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On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month
This is ridiculous!
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

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Our orchestra teacher told us he’d throw an instrument at us if we messed up.
Wow. I can’t believe our teacher is threatening us with violins.

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I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room...
He said:
"Nah a ma stay."

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I finally slept with my English teacher.
Home-school is great!

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Teacher: Do you know what an esimate is?
Student: Not exactly
Teacher: correct
Student: About what?
Teacher: also correct
Student: I guess
Teacher: wow you really know your stuff

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My English teacher asked to “define money”.
I responded “something you don’t have”.

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Why are history teacher boring ?
Because they tend to Babylon

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Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye.
In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.

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So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation
She gave a stellar explanation.

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Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history.
Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.

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A teacher enters a class room for the first time.
He notices that two of the guys sitting together looks similar to each other. The teacher curiously asks them
Teacher :Are you guys twins?
Guys:No sir, we are neighbors.

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Little boy calls to his teacher
And says "James won't be in school today, he is sick"
Teacher replies "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. By the way who am i talking to,?"
Boy answers calmly "With my Dad"

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Teacher: We found drugs in your son's backpack
Parent: Oh wow, really?
Teacher: Yes, it's very concerning
Parent: Very.. *rubbing сhin*.. he should have sold them all by now

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