School Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Teacher, "Martha, come to the blackboard and tell us on the world map where America is."
Martha point to America correctly.
Teacher, "Good. Now John, you tell us who discovered America"
John, "Martha just did"

0

0

Teacher: If you had 20p in one trouser pocket and 60p in the other, what do you have?
Pupil: Someone else’s trousers, miss.

0

0

Student: I would love for you to teach me a foreign language.
Teacher: Certainly. French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish?
Student: Oh, which is the most foreign?

0

0

Me:
"May I go to the restroom."
Teacher:
"What for?"
Me:
"To Open The Chamber Of Secrets, What the hеll do you think?

0

0

Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of
Baseball
Jonah: Here’s my paper
Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay
Lets hear what you wrote
Jonah: Game called off on account of rain

0

0

Two verbs, three adjectives, three nouns and a conjunction appeared in court. They’re due to be sentenced next week.

0

0

On my first day teaching remedial English to inmates, I was very nervous to be in a prison classroom.
My students seemed uncomfortable as well, many of them hadn’t been near a classroom in decades.
I began class by nervously asking, “Who can tell me what a sentence is?”
The class burst out laughing. That broke the ice.

0

0

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”
“Huge hands, sir.”

0

0

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom - his hands were dirтy.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”
Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

0

0

A rather strict English teacher also had the responsibility of teaching “homemaking,” as home economics used to be called. The teacher noticed a student carefully applying lipstick and powder, rather than doing her home ec lesson.
“Jenny,” said the teacher, “you pay more attention to your makeup than you do to your homemaking lessons.”
“Well, said Jenny, “before I can home make, I have to catch someone with whom.”

0

0

The teacher asked little Peter; "If I have 5 mangoes in one hand and five mangoes in the other, what do I have?”
" Big Hands, " said Peter.

0

0

The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going to in cold weather insufficiently clad. “There was one a boy,” he said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on; he caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia and he died!”
The teacher paused to allow the moral of this story to sink in, when a small voice said, “What happened to the sled ….?”

0

0

In a class room exam, John was peeping into the answer sheet of his neighbor.
The teacher shouted, “No cheating John!”
John replied, “I am not cheating. I am copying. There is a difference!”

0

0

A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them, such as dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog".
Steven raised his hand and said,
"Sure Miss Jones. How about a 'collie' flower?"

0

0

The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”
“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Веll,” said Mary.

0

0

A teacher called upon the classroom to make sentences with words previously chosen.
The teacher smiled when Pete, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words “Defeat,”
“Defense,”
“Deduct,” and “Detail.”
Pete stood thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he the proudly said, “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.”

0

0

The teacher asked the class to define “Pedestrian”
Tom raises his hand and says:
“A person who can be easily reach by car.”

0

0

Teacher: Dudley, can you tell me what the four seasons are?
Dudley: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

0

0