School Jokes

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My music teacher told me to stay on key
I said "pitch please"

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What did the music teacher say to the student with social problems?
Just B♮.

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After My Music Lesson, My Teacher Said I Should Be Tenor
Tenor twelve feet away from her.

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An English class is writing an essay
One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".

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My teacher said I'd never be any good at poetry because of my dyslexia
But so far I've made a vase and two jugs

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A computer science major goes to his English professor and says "I've found a fault in the English language and I need an entomologist."
"Don't you mean an etymologist?" the teacher asks.
"No," the student replies. "It's a bug, not a feature."

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Teacher: Use dandelion in the sentence
Kid *Jamaican accent*: The cheetah is faster dandelion

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The teacher tells the class:
'Whoever gets the next question right, can go home early.'
Benjamin throws his pencil to the front of the class. Teacher picks it up and asks:
'Who was that?'
Benjamin:
'Me, good day.'

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So my guitar teacher got arrested.
He got arrested for fingеring A minor.
After he plucked her G string...

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When I was in kindergarten, I liked the shape of the seventh letter of the alphabet so much, I would just stare at the one on the class poster and poke at it.
My teacher would whisper *"Prodigy..."*

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My teacher took my phone after he caught me and said I could reclaim it next class
It was a long summer vacation

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The year 2120 in a classroom.
Teacher:
"That anti-vaccination movement eventually died out in the beginning of the 21st century."
Student:
"I'm glad they finally came to their senses."
Teacher:
"No. It was Роliо."

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There was a kidnapping in the local high school.
Luckily a teacher woke him up.

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Joke from my science teacher years ago...
Why should you never wear Russian nuclear underwear?
Because Chernob'll Fallout.

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What do you call a teacher that doesn't like kids coloring outside of the lines?
Border Patrol

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Today, my teacher asked me to summerize my work...
So, I took out all the parts about polar bears and eskimos.

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Earlier today, I was at the swimming pool with my gym class. The teacher yelled at me for peeing in the pool, and I replied that everyone pees in the pool
"Yeah, but not from the diving board" was his reply!

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Little Billy came to school with a broken foot
Teacher: Billy what happened to your foot?
Billy: I dropped tomatoes on it.
Teacher: Tomatoes? How could tomatoes do that?
Billy: Well, they were in a can.

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