School Jokes

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A kid hand in his homework and the teacher says,
"You're presentation is misssing."
And the kid replies with,
"Oh I'm sorry. Ladies and gentlements, my HOMEWORK"

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Teacher: class let’s do math.
Teacher: so bob has 25 candy bars he eats 10. What does bob have
Student: 15 CANDY BARS
Teacher: no bob has diabetes.

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On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month
This is ridiculous!
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

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I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room...
He said:
"Nah a ma stay."

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I finally slept with my English teacher.
Home-school is great!

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Teacher: Do you know what an esimate is?
Student: Not exactly
Teacher: correct
Student: About what?
Teacher: also correct
Student: I guess
Teacher: wow you really know your stuff

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My English teacher asked to “define money”.
I responded “something you don’t have”.

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Why are history teacher boring ?
Because they tend to Babylon

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My science teacher asked me if I liked sodium
I said “Na.”

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Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye.
In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.

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So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation
She gave a stellar explanation.

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Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history.
Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.

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Little boy calls to his teacher
And says "James won't be in school today, he is sick"
Teacher replies "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. By the way who am i talking to,?"
Boy answers calmly "With my Dad"

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Teacher: We found drugs in your son's backpack
Parent: Oh wow, really?
Teacher: Yes, it's very concerning
Parent: Very.. *rubbing сhin*.. he should have sold them all by now

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My english teacher told me that the file I sent her was corrupt, and that she couldn't open it
I suggested bribing it

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My Latin/Greek teacher always gets the English and Greek 'U' mixed up
Oopsilon

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My English teacher said that nothing rhymes with orange.
There was a young man who had nothing,
Until one day he happened upon an orange.
That rhymes?

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Little Jimmy was sleeping in class when...
The teacher saw him dozing off and interrupted his nap.
He said in a stern tone:
"Jimmy, you know you can't sleep in class."
Jimmy retorted:
"Yeah, but if you were a little quieter I could."

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