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Вицове за Спорт English Sport-Witze, Sportwitze, Train... Chistes de deportes Анекдоты про Спорт Blague Sportif Barzellette Sport Αθλητικά Αστεία Спорт Spor Fıkraları Анекдоти про Спорт Piadas de Esporte Dowcipy i kawały: Sport Sportskämt Sport moppen Vittigheder om sport, Sportsjo... Sportsvitser Urheiluvitsit Sport viccek, Sportos viccek Glume despre Sport Anekdoty a vtipy o sportu, hok... Sporto juokai Anekdotes par sportu Sportski vicevi
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Sports Jokes

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What does NASCAR stand for?
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
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A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race, but then she realized that they cost way too much money, so instead, she bought a donkey.
The next day, she enters it into a contest, and it comes in third. The headlines read, ''Nun's Аss Chokes.'' The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first. The headlines were, ''Nun's Аss Wins Grand Prize.'' The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race. The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Аss.'' And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price. The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Аss for $5.''
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Jоск Воотy Call... Open:
Hey ваве, I'm just trying to open up a hole! High five!
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Show me a man that thinks baseball is the national pastime and I'll show you a man who never played doctor when he was a kid!
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There was this one lady that bought a jar of pickles every week .
So she puts the pickle in the hole on her floor and starts huмрing it then the mailman rings the doorbell and she gets up, kicks the pickle and gets the mail. The next day she does the same thing and screws the pickle. The mailman waits everyday, so he looks in the window and sees her sсrеwing the pickle then he rings the doorbell. The next day he gets a substitute to do his routes. So he goes in the lady's basement and paints his diск green. When she put the pickle in he takes it out and sticks his diск in and the lady doesn`t know it`s not the pickle so she just screws it. Later on the substitute mailman rings the doorbell and then the lady kicks the pickle and gets the mail.
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Библиски голф Το γκολφ. Ο Ιησούς Играят голф Исус Христос Moses Moisés De heilige Johannes is samen met twee andere aan het golven. Hij heeft de afgelopen 2000 jaar flink geoefend en is dus in een goede vorm. Hij slaat de bal Three men were playing golf. The course was a wicked dogleg with a large water hazard. The first man stepped up to the tee and hit a sharp slice into the water hazard. He walked up to the water; it... Están Moisés Moses spiller golf Tre mænd er ude at spille golf. Først slår den første Jesus Mooses
Jesus and Моsеs are playing golf and they''re on the tenth hole. Моsеs hits the ball and it heads straight for a pond. Just before the ball hits the water, the pond parts and the ball rolls up onto the green.
Jesus winds up and hits one about to the same spot. Jesus' ball hits the water and skips across. All of a sudden, lightning flashes and a ball drops from the sky. A fish swallows it, a bird picks up the fish and drops the ball onto a turtle, that walks over to the hole and drops it in.
Moses turns to Jesus and says, ''I hate it when your dad plays!''
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Q: Why can't DJs play pool?
A: They always scratch.
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"Did you hear they are thinking of changing the Dallas Cowboys to the Dallas Possums?"
"No, why?"
"Because they play dead at home and they die on the road."
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What do you get when you cross a football player with a hоокеr?
An illegal procedure.
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How do you know when you have a true redneck girl?
When she can chew tabacco and give you a вlоw job at the same time, and knows which one to spit and which one to swallow.
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Robert Frost and a redneck came to heaven's gate at the same time.
St. Peter stood at the gate with instuctions for the two: ''You cannot enter the gates of heaven until you can make up a poem and recite it to me using the word 'Timbuktu' in it.'' Robert Frost stepped up and recited a beautiful poem and was let in the gates.
The redneck stepped up and St. Peter said, ''Now, what is your poem?''
The Redeck paused and scratched. ''Oh! I got it,'' said the redneck, ''here it goes. . . Me and Tim a huntin' went, Met three maidens in a tent, They was three and we was two, So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.''
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"Don't trust volleyball players with your drinks."
"Why?"
"They might spike 'em."
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Jоск Воотy Call... Resin:
Hey ваве, want to squeeze my resin bag? High five!
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One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who said, "If you marry my daughter, I will give you my house and all of my money." Sure enough the guy says yes. The rich man then warned him that his daughter had been in a terrible car accident and was a little messed up, both physically and mentally. The guy figures she couldn't be that messed up and doesn't change his mind.
So he married the girl - who was that messed up - and on the honeymoon, instead of having to look at her, he put a paper bag over her head when they were having sеx. And the guy used the bag every time they had sеx after that
One day, while the guy was doing some work around the house, he dropped his hammer and said, "Honey, can you get the hammer for me?" The wife shuffled around muttering, "Huh? Get the hammer, get the hammer, get the hammer," and finally picked it up.
After she gave it back to him, he dropped the box of nails and asked, "Honey, can you get nails for me?" She went to fetch it, mumbling, "Huh? Get the nails, get the nails, get the nails." She hands him the nails and he goes back to work.
While the guy is hammering a nail, he accidentally struck his thumb and shouted, "Aww, f**k!" The wife says, "Huh? get the bag, get the bag, get the bag...."
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Q: On a sunny day, two fathers and two sons went fishing. Each one of them caught one fish. When they went home, there were only three fishes. How can that be?
A: A grandfather, a father and a son went fishing.
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There were three guys in a car. One driving, the other in the passenger seat and one resting in the back. The guy in the back became sleepy and fell asleep. A few minutes later, he is startled by a "THUMP THUMP."
"What the hеll was that?" he shouted.
The driver says, "It was just a redneck."
"I felt two thumps, though," says the passenger.
"Yeah we had to go through the fence to hit him."
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John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, "I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York."
The next person says, "Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals."
The next guys says, "You dissed people with mental problems."
Rocker is shocked and says, "I didn't say anything about people with mental problems!"
The man smiles and says, "Now people think that all people with mental problems are racist and dumb."
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A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money to go to the whоrе house. His dad gives him 20 bucks and says, "Son, get it done. But one thing before you go, whatever you do, don't venture into Room 88."
The kid agrees. He gets to the whоrе house and says to the lady at the desk, "Hi, I would like to get a room." She responds, "Sorry young man. The only room left is Room 88."
The kid, dripping with horniness, takes it despite his father's warning. When he gets up there, there is a hole in the wall. It says, "Insert соск here for pleasure." He walks over, sticks it in, and gets his c**k suскеd for an hour and a half and explodes inside the mystery mouth hidden behind the wall. He gets home and tells his dad he had his d**k suскеd by a real pro in Room 88. His dad turns deathly pale and cries, "Uh, oh. That was you?"
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