Donald Trump Jokes

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What do atoms and President Trump have in common?
They make up everything

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Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks.
Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.

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What did Donald Trump say when he matched King Jong Un on tinder?
Send Nukes

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What went wrong with Trump's Suicide Attempt
Fake Noose

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Trump is trying to solve global warming
That's why he's trying to create a nuclear winter

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Who will be in charge of Trump's border wall?
The Secretary of Da' Fence!

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What's the least favourite vegetable of the Trump administration?
Leeks.

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Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...
It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

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I got President Trump's autograph today.
He signed my Deportation Notice.

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Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe
But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.

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Come on, Trump has no ties in Russia.
His ties are made in China. His business loans are in Russia.

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Why did an immigrant marry trump ?
Because immigrants do the jobs that no American wants to do

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What's Donald Trump's favourite day of the year?
1st April - everything's fake news.

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Trump and Hillary walk into a bar...
It'd been set pretty low. (See: /r/jokes since the election ended.)

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Why can't President Trump bring back hanging?
Because of all the fake noose.

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Trump is like copper.
He's better without oxygen.

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If I had a dollar for every racist thing Donald Trump has said...
He'd be cutting my taxes.

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Melania Trump walks into a bar...
And orders and Angel shot with lime.

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