Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Oh Gоddаммiт, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in.
The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!"
The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?"
The bartender says, "Yeah.."
The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?"
The bartender says, "It's across the road."
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course”, comes the reply.
The first man then asks:
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man.
The first man responds:
“You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.”
“Of Course”, replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks:
“Where in Scotland are you from?”
“Aberdeen”, comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.”
“Of course”, replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
“What school did you go to?”
“Sаinт Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Sаinт Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!”
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender
“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunк again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.