An old woman walks into a butcher shop and asks for a New Mexico duck. The butcher grabs the nearest duck and hands it to the old lady. She puts her finger up its аss, pulls it out, smells it, and says,
"You must be new here because this is no New Mexico duck." The butcher replies,
"Yep, I am new here." The old lady comes back with, "Well, where are you from?" The butcher drops his pants, spreads his вuтт cheeks and says,
"I don't know, why don't you tell me."
A guy walks into a bar with his monkey and tells the bartender, "What do you say you buy me a drink if I can get this monkey here to bl*w me?" The bartender agrees and the guy smacks his monkey upside his head. The monkey falls over, jumps up, pulls the guys thing out, and starts bl*wing. Another guy at the end of the bar has been watching in amazement and says,
"Hey, can I try that?!" The monkey owner says,
"Sure," and the other guy says,
"Okay, just don't hit me that hard."