A мidgет with a lisp goes to a farmer to buy a horse. He looks over the horse to inspect it, and says to the farmer, "I'd like to sthee its teeth." So the farmer picks him up to give him a view of the teeth. Then, the мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its ears." Again, the farmer picks him up to view the horses ears. Then the мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its тwат."
"Excuse me?" says the farmer. The мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its тwат." So the farmer picks him up and shoves his head up the horse's тwат. The мidgет's legs are flailing violently, and he’s screaming in there, so the farmer pulls him out and puts him down. The мidgет looks at the farmer and says,
"I think I'll rephrase that, I'd like to sthee it run."
An old woman walks into a butcher shop and asks for a New Mexico duck. The butcher grabs the nearest duck and hands it to the old lady. She puts her finger up its аss, pulls it out, smells it, and says,
"You must be new here because this is no New Mexico duck." The butcher replies,
"Yep, I am new here." The old lady comes back with, "Well, where are you from?" The butcher drops his pants, spreads his вuтт cheeks and says,
"I don't know, why don't you tell me."