A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high.
Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night."
A farmer has 895 sheep. …. ….
Realizing that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and ol’ Jess the sheepdog is getting on in years, he decides he’ll probably need a new dog- no, a whole team of dogs- to round so many sheep up. … …
…
So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs- they seem very fit, but young and untrained. The shopkeeper asks the farmer if he wants any help. ….
….
“Why yes,” says the farmer. I need a team of sheepdogs to help round up my flock. I have a rather large number of sheep, you see, and I don’t think any of these young pups would be up to the task of rounding up so many.”
The shopkeeper says, “I’ve got just the thing for you.” and leads the farmer into a small back room, where a single sheepdog sits waiting.
“Are you sure?” asks the farmer, “I have very many sheep and I don’t think one dog will be able to round all of them up.”.
“I’m sure.” says the shopkeeper, “This is a very intelligent dog. He’s been well-trained for many jobs and has skills beyond any other dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Yes,” says the dog, “I know six languages, eight martial arts and I have a degree in engineering.” The farmer, clearly very impressed by this dog- who wouldn’t be impressed by that?- decides to take him home.
That afternoon, the farmer and the dog walk together up hill, and from the top they can see the entire flock covering the fields. “Well,” says the farmer, “I’d like you to round up all of these sheep.”.
“Okay.” replies the dog, “You have nine hundred sheep.”
The only соw in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a соw just across the state line in Illinois for $200.
They brought the соw from Illinois and the соw was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the соw to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved соw. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the соw, the соw would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the соw would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.
They told the Vet what was happening. “Whenever the bull tries to mount our соw, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side.”
The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you by chance, buy this соw in Illinois?”
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the соw. “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said. “How did you know we got the соw in Illinois?”
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, “My wife is from Illinois.