Animal Jokes

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A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
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Среќен Кое има четири крака и една ръка ? - Какво е това Was hat vier Beine und einen Arm? Въпрос: Кое е това нещо с четири крака и една ръка? Vad är det som har fyra ben och en arm? - En glad pitbull Qu'est-ce qui a 4 pattes et un bras ? Un pitbull dans un jardin d'enfants... Was für eine Tier hat fünf Beine? Ein Pitbull auf dem Kinderspielplatz! Was hat 4 Beine und 1 Hand? Ein Rottweiler der vom Kinderspielplatz kommt. Welches Tier hat fünf Beine? - Ein Pitbull Ce are 4 picioare si o mana in gura.? un pit-bull fericit Ce are 4 picioare si o mana? ????????? Un pitbull dupa ce s-a jucat cu postasul - Šta ima četiri noge i ruku? - Veseli pitbul. O que é o que é. Tem quatro patas e um braço? Um pit-bull feliz.
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A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The woman went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can on to the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved it's paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Every 50 ft or so the bunny would stop, look back, and wave. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can. He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
"'Hair spray restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
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