Animal Jokes

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Το πιο άσχημο μωρό The baby Το άσχημο μωρό Една жена се качила в автобус с бебето си. Шофьорът казал: В автобусе едет женщина с ребёнком.Заходит пьяный мужик: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says Uma mulher entra no ônibus com seu filho e o motorista se espanta: I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady" Wchodzi kobieta z czarnym dzieckiem na rękach do autobusu. - Fuj Kommt eine Frau mit ihrem Kind auf dem Arm in den Bus. Sagt der Busfahrer: "Mensch sie haben aber ein häßliches Kind!" Schockiert und immer noch verärgert setzt sich die Frau in den Bus. Ihr... På en buss i London satt en ung kvinna med sin baby i famnen när en berusad man klev på och stannade framför henne. Mannen tittade en lång stund på barnet och sa sedan så högt att alla i bussen... Met haar baby van zes dagen op de arm stapt Annie de bus in. "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" zei de chauffeur Annie stapt de bus in met haar pasgeboren baby op haar arm. Zegt de buschauffeur: 'Tering! Zo'n lelijk kind heb ik nog nooit gezien!' Annie wordt boos en gaat helemaal achterin de bus zitten. Een... En dame går på en buss med babyen sin. Bussjåføren sier: - Det er den styggeste babyen jeg noen gang har sett. Æsj!. Dama finner seg et sete og setter seg ned O femeie cu un copil in brate se urca in autobuz. Soferul Zice: - Aoleu Een vrouw staat samen met haar baby op de arm te wachten bij een bushalte. Als de bus aan komt en de vrouw instapt zegt de buschauffeur: "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" De vrouw... En dame går på bussen med babyen sin A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out Kadın bebeğiyle otobüse binerken otobüs şöförü kendini tutamayıp şöyle demiş: - Aman tanrım ne kadar çirkin bir bebek... Kadın sinirle biletini kutuya basmış A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says Uma Senhora estava sentada com o seu filhinho no colo En kvinde kommer ind i en bus med en baby på armen... Chaufføren kigger længe på ungen og udbryder: "Hold da kæft en grim unge" Kvinden sætter sig bagest i bussen Moteris su mažu vaiku įlipa į mikroautobusą. Vairuotojas imdamas pinigus
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The California D. O. T found over 200 dead crows on the highways recently and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road кill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah!", not a single one could shout "Bike!".
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Here's a quiz for you!
A man drops a brick from a plane which had 500 bricks. How many are left?
If you got 500, you're correct.
How do you put an elephant in a large fridge? There are 3 steps.
If you got these steps, then you are correct:
1. Open the door
2. Put the elephant in the fridge
3. Close the door
Now, how do you put a ZEBRA in a fridge?
If you got these steps, then you are correct:
1. Open the door
2. Take out the elephant
3. Put the zebra in
4. Close the door
All species of animal (except humans) were at a gathering. However, one species had a missing animal. What was it?
The correct answer is zebra, because it's in the fridge!
A woman needs to cross a river to get to her house. A sign next to the river reads, "DANGER: Alligators! Use boat with caution." The woman swims across the river, and doesn't get injured. Why?
The answer is that the alligators were at the gathering.
After the woman gets on the other side, she dies. Why?
The answer is that the brick from the plane fell on her head.
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