Animal Jokes

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A dog asks a cat “How come I’ve never seen you cats making love in public?”
The cat replies, “Do you want humans to steal our style like they did yours?”

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An animal has three legs. Dance, said the lion.
I'll rаре you tonight, said the whale.

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Poodle:
“My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”
Collie:
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?”
Poodle:
“I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.”

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What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a chicken?
A chicken lays eggs, and Yo' Mama lays everything else.

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Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived in a cave outside of a big city.
One night, one said to a another, “I'm so hungry. I'm going to go get something.”
“No don't! We have to wait for the others!”
“I don't care.” And off he went.
About 30 minutes later, he came back and was covered in blood.
The other vampire bat asked, “WHOA!! Where did you find all that blood?”
“You really want to see?” asked the вlооdy one. “Follow me.”
So the first bat leads the other bat to the city and points to a large black building and asks, “Do you see that building?”
“Yes,” came the reply.
To that the first says, “Well, I didn't.”

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“Nice greyhound; fast as well. Have you considered racing him?” asked this bloke in the park.
“No, not really,” I replied. “I’m far too unfit and out of condition.”

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Teacher:
"Who is a Coward?"..
Jeff:Any соw that is given an Award

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Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the соw across the lake

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What does a соw say when he remembers something?
“I have deja moo!”

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Here’s a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

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What instrument do a pair of sheep play, The two-baaaa

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What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly Mammoth.

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SHeep want to WOooll the world

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You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns

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What’s a Sheeps Favorite Song?
Baby Don’t Herd Me.

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Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish
Son: That’s too baaaaaad

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My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40”

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What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars?
A lambo.

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