Animal Jokes

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A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about making a horrible sound. The bartender says “Hey, looks like he can’t play that!”, and the octopus says, “Play it? As soon as I get it’s pajamas off, I’m gonna fuск it!”

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Why did the octopus cross the road?
Cuz he was on the same side as a sushi resturant

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Octo means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs… so where did the pus come from.

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What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You cant beetah the cheetah

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I like penguins

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The cheetah had a race with a lion and the cheetah won, lion was like why you always a cheetah the cheetah was like why you always lion (lying).

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My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.

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Why did every one suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything

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Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion? Because she knew the lion was always lion.
#Worst jokes ever

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Why do cheetahs always win? Because they cheat

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How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: Nice to eat you.

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Why do cheetahs have spots? Chickenpox!

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Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night.

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We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.

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How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.

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Why didn’t the koala make the finals?. It got diskoalafide

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Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!!!

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Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down
Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in
Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going
Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala
Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure

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