Animal Jokes

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I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say… THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!

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3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer :
Chi-ca-go

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If I were a cat I’d spend all nine of my lives with you

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The one by die

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I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat but I would be lion.

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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again aren’t you?

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What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁

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What animal lies. A lion

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Whats black white and read all over?
A zebra after a lion is full

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Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetas

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A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a вееr one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says
"Stop! you can’t leave that thing lying on the floor"
The man says
"Mate, that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe".

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What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.

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Why did the man say chickens were lucky…?
Because they get killed and eaten.

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What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender

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Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

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Why did the dog 🐕 join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-воnе.

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Two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts

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