Animal Jokes

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What animal did the соw and snake discuss?
A Moose.

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What animal can a соw communicate with?
A MOOse.

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What do you call a white kid who’s also a furry?
An animal cracker

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I phoned the animal shelter today
And said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase."

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What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?
A doctor

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What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?
A mole

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Girls say I'm an animal in bed.
More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.

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I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.
If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

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*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...
... It's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

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Why did the vet turn away the injured sea animal?
Do not accept if seal is broken.

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What is a black dad's favorite animal?
Bison

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A man goes to a zoo and is disappointed to find it has only one animal, a dog
It's a Shih Tzu.

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[Blonde Joke] Two blondes are walking in the forest and they come across some tracks. They start arguing about what animal they belong to.
In the middle of their heated argument they got run over by a train.

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What's Donald Trump's spirit animal?
The wall-rus.
Yes, I do hate myself.

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What was Нiтlеr's favourite aquatic animal?
Adolfin.

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In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first соw to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

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What's the most feared animal in the Romanian Savannah?
Vlad the Impala

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