Animal Jokes

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Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!

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Are you having rabbit duck for dinner? Yeah Why? Because I got too obsessed with hares.

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Where do you mix a bunny and a hare
Bunny hare

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Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?
They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

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Today I chopped up Onion for dinner and it made me cry. I guess it's true that you grow an attachment to an animal after you give it a name
He was a good dog

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A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog
The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"

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What you call an animal that moos?
A соw, duмваss.

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What animal did the соw and snake discuss?
A Moose.

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What animal can a соw communicate with?
A MOOse.

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What do you call a white kid who’s also a furry?
An animal cracker

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Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.

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I phoned the animal shelter today
And said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase."

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?
A doctor

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What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?
A mole

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Girls say I'm an animal in bed.
More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.

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I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.
If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

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*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...
... It's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

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Why did the vet turn away the injured sea animal?
Do not accept if seal is broken.

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