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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.
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Girl: Ваве I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
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Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
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Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
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How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.
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What do you get if you cross a соw with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
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Why is a blonde like a turtle?
They both get fuскеd up when they're on their backs.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
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How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.
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What band is a соw favorite?
Moody Blues.
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A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm.
He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender.
The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks.
He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom.
Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks.
After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation.
"What's your name?"
He says to one of the ducks.
"Huey," answers the first duck.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great.
Lovely day.
Had a ball.
Been in and out of puddles all day."
"Oh, that's nice," says the bartender.
Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?".
"Dewey," comes the answer.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball.
Been in and out of puddles all day.
If I had the chance, I would do it all again."
So the bartender turns to the third duck and says,
"So, you must be Louie."
"No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
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Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
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What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
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Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
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