Animal Jokes

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What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.

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"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."

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What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.

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When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.

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What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says,
"Ribbit."

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What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.

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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of wеirdо cattle?
A nerd herd.

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How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.

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Where do sharks come from?
Sharkago.

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What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.

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How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!

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What did one skunk say to another?
And so do you.

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What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.

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How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale Weigh Scales.

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When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.

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What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.

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Teacher:
"Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil:
"Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."

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Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

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