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The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says:
Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
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There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day.
They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs.
Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one.
They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him.
They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do.
So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing.
They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do.
Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out:
"THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
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Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a вlооdy pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey... His name was KING KONG
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Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
They can't get the laboratory mice to аrsе f*ck.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.
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What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
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