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Вицове за Животни
English
Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi...
Chistes de animales
про животных
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Barzellette Animali
Ανέκδοτα με ζώα
животни
Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al...
Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ...
Piadas de Animais
Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta
Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s...
Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier...
Vitser om dyr
Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr
Eläinvitsit
Állatos viccek
Bancuri Animale
Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ...
Anekdotai apie gyvūnus
Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem
Vicevi o životinjama
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Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds:
"Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes... Can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says,
"What's the problem... Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Where did the mooron take the baby соw to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that соw's вuтт.
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Little Nancy's Pet
großes Grab
Το χρυσόψαρo
Неделя сутрин
Малката Виктория вече закопаваше дупката под дървото в градината
Маленька дівчинка закопує ямку в пісочниці. Сусід
Маленькая девочка закапывает ямку в песочнице
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
Вовочка был в саду и закапывал какую-то ямку
Mariazinha está cavando um buraco no quintal
Un hombre encuentra a su vecino cavando un hoyo en el patio y le preguntó: - Hola vecino
Une petite fille creuse un grand trou dans le jardin familial en pleurant a chaudes larmes. Le voisin
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died
Petit Tom était dans le jardin entrain de creuser un trou quand son voisin le dévisagea au-dessus de la barrière. Intéressé par ce que faisait le jeune effronté
Mała Zosia siedziała w ogrodzie zasypując dołek
Lille Johnny er i gang med at grave et stort hul ude i haven da naboen kommer forbi og spørger hvad han laver. - “Min guld fisk er død så jeg begraver den” siger johnny. - “Så stort et hul behøver...
Um sujeito estava no jardim de sua casa quando vê o vizinho
De var en gång en liten pojke som satt bakom hans hus och grävde en grav till hans döda guldfisk då tittade den nyfikna grannkärringen fram över staketet och sa: - Vad gör du? - Jag gräver en grop...
Kalle höll på att gräva en grop i sin trädgård när granntanten tittar över staketet och säger: - Hej Kalle! Vad gräver du för något? - Min guldfisk har dött och jag ska begrava den. - Men är inte...
Une petite fille creuse un trou avec sa pelle. Le voisin l'aperçoit et lui dit: - Qu'est-ce que tu enterres là? La gamine
One day little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor
- Mit csinálsz Marika? - Gödröt ások
Morguh Jenny! Wat ben je aan het doen? Mijn goudvis is dood dus ik begraaf hem Haha
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said,
"Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said,
"I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said,
"Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said,
"No... It's inside your dамn cat!"
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How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest.
1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room!
2nd mouse says : you рооf! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it.
3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2.
Home he replied to shаg the cat!
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"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."
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How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
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What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Ruмр-a.
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What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
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