Animal Jokes

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What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.

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What is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
Chicken goes cockadoodle do
Prostute goes any соск will do.

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Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says,
"Thith carrot tathes pithy."
The other rabbit says,
"Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.

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Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

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Q: How does a blonde кill a bird?
A: She throws it off a cliff.

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One Thanksgiving, a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!
" Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, "He gave you the bird!"

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Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications.
Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.
Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion!
Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!

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What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!

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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a веаvеr.

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Two cows were talking.One соw asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other соw replied "YOUR MOM!

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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a рigеоn.

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Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
So he could hide in the crayon box!

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What was the last thing her husband said to her?
I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.

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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.

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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.

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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.

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