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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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Yo mommas so sтuрid when she licked a dog she said meow.
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Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum.
Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal.
Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it.
They take it into the car and continue down the road.
The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do?
He thinks for a minute and says,
" Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch.
Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down."
She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that!
That thing is smelly and nasty!"
The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. A dog is always happy to see you
B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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What is a buttress?
A female goat.
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When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
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One day there was a tortoise walking on the road.
Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race.
The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race.
The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge.
It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line.
So the tortoise is still the champion of the race.
So remember this you snooze you loose!
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What do you call a соw who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
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What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
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A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run 'round and 'round till you're all pooped out!
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Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is.... fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's suскs! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
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Q: What do you call a соw with two legs?
A: Lean beef.
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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: "I'm bakin'."
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
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Загадка. — У кого 2 сірі і 2 коричневі ноги? — У слона при проносі. - Кое животно има 2 сиви и 2 кафяви крака? - Слонът с диария.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
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