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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter.
"Вliмеy," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you."
"What, Eric?" says the horse.
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Γιατί οι καρχαρίες δεν επιτίθενται σε μαύρους? Waarom eten haaien geen negers? Omdat ze denken dat het walvisstront is. Hvorfor spiser hajer ikke sorte mennesker? – De tror det er hval lort - Защо акулите не ядат негри? - Защото ги мислят за изпражнения на кит Почему акулы не едят негров? Потому что они считают что это китовое дерьмо.
Why don't sharks eat niggеrs?
They think it's whale shiт.
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Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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What is a thespian pony?
A little horse play
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Snake Bite Είμαστε δηλητηριώδη; Φίδια. Δηλητηριώδη ползут две змеи и одна у другой спрашивает: - слушай Αχ αυτά τα φιδάκια Разговарят две змии: Το φιδάκι Две змии изпълзели от един ресторант. По едно време едната видимо неспокойна Две пьяные змеи выползают из бара. Одна говорит: Две змии си говорят: Last words of a highly poisonous snake? Fragt die kleine Schlange ihre Mutter: Treffen sich zwei Schlangen in der Wüste Una piccola vipera va dalla sua mamma e le chiede: The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy Was sind die letzten Worte einer Giftschlange? "Mist! Ich habe mir auf die Zunge gebissen!" Två ormar möts bakom en sten: - Vet du om vi är giftiga? - Varför undrar du det? - Jo Uma cobra pergunta à outra: - Será que sou muito venenosa? - Achou que sim. Por quê? - Mordi a língua. İki laz yılan olan Temel’le İdris yolda gidiyorlarmış. Birden Temel İdris’e dönüp: "Ula İdris biz zehirli miydik yoksa zehirsiz mu?" diye sormus. İdris şaşırmış "Ula ne oldu gene" demiş. Temel de:... İki deli kendilerini yılan sanıyorlarmış.Bir gün duvarın üzerinde güneşlenirlerken biri bağırmış; - "Eyvah dilimi ısırdım Uma cobrinha Duas cobras conversam: — Soube da última? — Que última? — A Najilda... — O que tem? — Morreu! — Sério? De quê? Levou uma paulada? — Não... Pior! — Tomou uma machadada? Um tiro? — Pior! Muito pior!... Twee slangen zitten in de woestijn. De ene slang zegt tegen de andere: ‘Ik hoop niet dat ik giftig ben.’ ‘Waarom?’ vraagt de andere slang. ‘Omdat ik net op mijn tong heb gebeten!’ Се шетале две змии ¿Qué le dijo una serpiente a otra? - ¿Somos venenosas? - No Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks Det var en gång två ormar som var i öknen. Plötsligt sa den ena: - Du Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other Doi serpi in desert: - Auzi Doi serpi in desert. Tata si fiu. Fiul: - Tata Yılan Temel Un serpente va d a un altro serpente e dice: "Sssenti amico posssso farti una domanda? ma noi sserpenti ssiamo velenosssi?" L'altro serpente: "Ma non sssso perchè?!" L'altro: "No perchè mi sono... Ci sono due serpenti uno si chiama Giovanni e l'altro Marco e Marco dice: "Giovanni qual è il serpente più velenoso?" E lui: "Sta' zitto e cammina" E ancora: "Giovanni qual è il serpente più... 2 slangen zitten in het bos. En een slang zegt tegen de anderen: Zijn wij giftig? Hoezo??zegt de ander. Ik heb net op mijn tong gebeten! In Egitto ci sono due serpenti İki yılan ormanda sürünerek ilerliyorlarmış. Yılanın biri Il serpente figlio alla mamma: "Mamma Een slang zegt tegen een andere slag "zijn we giftig"? "Hoezo" Er lopen twee slangen door de woestijn. Zegt de ene: "Zijn wij giftig?" Zegt de ander: "Hoezo?" "Nou Δυο φίδια συζητάνε: - Ρε συ Twee slangen lopen door de woestijn zegt de een tegen de ander 'zijn we giftig Ja wat dan Ik heb op me tong gebeten Šliaužia dvi gyvatės ir viena sako kitai: - Ar mes nuodingos? Ci sono due serpenti nel prato di casa mia. Un serpente dice all'altro: - "Siamo mica velenosi?" - "No" - "E come lo fai a sapere?" - "Perché prima mi sono morso la lingua". Δύο φίδια σέρνονται στο χώμα. Ξαφνικά γυρνάει το ένα και λέει στο άλλο: - Μήπως είμαστε δηλητηριώδη; - Όχι απαντά το άλλο
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does:
“Mooo”.
The black bull does:
“Hey man, Mooo, man!”
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
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There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad соw disease?"
The other replies:
"I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
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Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many сrавs.
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What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her niррlе...
I was so excited! I never milked a соw before...
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