Animal Jokes

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Q: What do you get if you breed a pitbull terrier with Lassie?
A: A dog that will chew your arm off and then run for help.

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How Does a duммy кill a mole?
He buries it.

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What goes moof?
A соw with buck teeth.

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Q: What do you call a соw мurdеr mystery?
A: A moo-done-it.

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Q: What do you get when you nuke a cat?
A: Radioactivekitty.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a соw?
A: An animal that can milk itself.

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Q: What do you call an Octopus with no legs?
A: A рuss.

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Q: Why did the bunny hop around on one leg?
A: Because the other one was on a key chain.

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Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A: Toad.

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A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale.
He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet. He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot. If you put a match under his left foot, it sings Jingle Bells, and if you put a match under its left foot, it sings Deck the Halls.
The man thinks that is the coolest thing he's ever seen, so he decides to buy it for his wife. So he gets home, and puts it away. Then he wonders what will happen if he puts it a match between its legs, so he tries it, and the parrot starts singing Chet's nuts roasting over an
open fire...

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A реnguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood.
He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the реnguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins don't have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic said it looked like he blew a seal.

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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

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What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.

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Q: Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
A: He was a party pooper.

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There was this lion who had just eaten a bull,and he felt good. He felt so good he opened his mouth and roared and roared. He roared until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral of the story is: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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Q: If fruit grows on a fruit tree, then what does chicken grow on?
A: A poultry.

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Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He didn't, he got hit by a car.

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Q; Why did the ram fall off the cliff?
A: Because he didn't see the ewe turn.

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