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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel.
As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms. The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?'' ''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''
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Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A: A very nervous postman.
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Q: Why do baby chicks say, "Cheep, cheep, cheep"?
A: They can't say, "Expensive, expensive, expensive."
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Q: What kind of fish does a dog catch?
A: Catfish.
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Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head?
A: Homeless.
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Τα τσιμπούρια Δύο ψύλλοι 2 pulci escono dal cinema, una pulce dice all Salen dos pulgas de una fiesta, y una le dice a la otra: -¿Nos vamos a pie o esperamos a un perro? Due pulci all Dos pulgas acostadas sobre un perro se ponen a meditar en la noche, una le pregunta a la otra: ¿Crees que habrá vida en otros perros? ¿Qué le dice una pulga a la otra? Излизат семейство бълхи от театъра и мъжът казва не жената: Deux puces sortent du cinéma, l’une dit à l’autre : Две бълхи излизат от едно кино. Едната се обръща към другата: Πως θα πάμε σπίτι; Τσιμπούρια. To lopper kom ut fra kino. - Uff, det regner! sa den en loppa. – Skal vi gå hjem, eller ta en hund? Dos pulguitas se encuentran en una esquina, una le dice a la otra: Vamos a tomar un café al centro. La otra le responde: ¿ Vamos a pie o tomamos un perro? Van 2 pulgas caminando y pasa un perro y le dice una pulga a la otra: - ¿vamos andando o cogemos un taxi?
Q: What did one flea say to the other flea?
A: "Shall we walk or take a dog?"
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Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The daily moos.
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Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: I've fallen and I can't giddy up!
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As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant:
First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant. Fill the hole with ashes. Line the hole with peas.And when your elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
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Q: What is the clumsiest insect?
A: The bumbling bee.
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Q: Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m?
A: Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m. Q: Why do beavers have flat tails?
A: Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?
Giant holes all over Africa!
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go, "Moo."
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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter - he's not going to come anyway.
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Q: How can you tell if a elephant had sеx in your garage?
A: You're missing a Hefty bag.
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Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling?
A: "If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."
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