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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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Q: Why do baby chicks say, "Cheep, cheep, cheep"?
A: They can't say, "Expensive, expensive, expensive."
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Q: What kind of fish does a dog catch?
A: Catfish.
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Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head?
A: Homeless.
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Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The daily moos.
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Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: I've fallen and I can't giddy up!
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As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant:
First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant. Fill the hole with ashes. Line the hole with peas.And when your elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
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Q: What is the clumsiest insect?
A: The bumbling bee.
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Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, "You man the guns; I'll drive."
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Q: Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m?
A: Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m. Q: Why do beavers have flat tails?
A: Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?
Giant holes all over Africa!
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go, "Moo."
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Q: How can you tell if a elephant had sеx in your garage?
A: You're missing a Hefty bag.
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Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling?
A: "If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."
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God created the mule, and told him, "You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much.Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man-and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord,to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And it is so.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a turkey?
A: Drumsticks for everybody!
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What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?
The wrong answer.
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Q: How many mice does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, if they're small enough.
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