Walks into a Bar, Bar jokes, Bartender jokes
After a long day a sailor enters a bar, and noticed a pirate sitting at the bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. So the sailor walks over to the pirate and says, “May I ask how you lost your leg?" The pirate replied,"Arrrrr one stormy night on me ship I fell overboard, and a shark swam up to me and bit off me leg." The sailor says,"That's to bad, but how did you lose your hand?" The pirate resplied,"Arrrrr one day at sea me and my crew were battling an enemy and we were using swords so one of those B**t**ds cut off me hand."
"How did you lose your eye? Asked the sailor. "Well, one summer day I was looking at the clouds, and a seagull came and pooped in me eye." Said the pirate. "You lost your eye because a seagull pooped in it? “Said the sailor. " No, you see it was the first day with the hook! “Said the pirate.
There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says,
"Hey, you look familiar.
Are you from around here?" The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the street."
"No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school?"
"Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in '66.
How 'bout you?"
"Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in '66, too."
"Where'd you go to college?"
"Beloit, in Wisconsin."
"No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?"
"Kevin Sullivan dorm."
"Sullivan? You're not going to believe this . . ."
Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says,
"Joe, you won't believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same
High school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn't that amazing?"
Joe looks at them both and says,
"Yeah, that's just plain amazing."
A third man comes in and says,
"Hey Joe. What's new?" Joe says,
"Not much. The Johnson twins are drunк again."