Walks into a Bar, Bar jokes, Bartender jokes

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Why did the the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos

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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian

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Why do astronauts get drunк when writing an email?
Because they keep hitting the space bar.

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A guitarist goes to a bar
He orders a gin and tonic
Then pulls out his guitar and starts playing.
The bartender asks, "diet tonic?"
To which the guitarist replies:
"No, Pentatonic."

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A Republican, Christian, Vegetarian and the Nicest man ever walks into a bar
And only orders water because Mr. Rogers didn't drink

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Water and heat walk into a bar...
It was sтеамy..

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Two bacteria walk into a bar, then into the staff area.
The barman says “get out!”
The bacteria say “don’t worry, we’re staph”

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Thor and Loki enter a bar.
Thor asks for two beers to start off and gets very drunк, but Loki only has water and soda the whole night. They get into a fight with each other. Even though Loki was sober, they both leave the bar hammered.

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A buzzfeed writer and a terrorist walked into a bar
What happened next will вlоw your mind!

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Black hole goes into a bar and orders a drink.
Barman:
"Would you like something to eat with that Sir?"
Black hole:
"No thank you, I'm a light eater."

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Jussie Smollett walks into a bar fight...
There was no fight

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A man was having a heart attack at a bar
When a patron yelled out, "Does anyone know CPR", the place went silent, then a drunк at the back yelled out "I do... I even know the whole alphabet". Everybody laughed. Well except for this one guy.

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A rарisт, a bigot, and a pathological liar walk into a bar.
The bartender says,
"What'll you have, Mr. President?"

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What’s a feminists favorite candy bar?
Hershey

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A woman walked into a bar and said to the barman, ‘I’d like a Double Entendre.’
So he gave her one.

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Roy Moore walks into a bar and orders a 10 year old scotch, and water
The bartender says "here's your scotch and water."
Roy Moore asks "where's my 10 year old?"

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Thor and Pikachu walk into a bar and get in a fight with the bartender.
They were both overcharged.

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The other day I walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre
So the bartender gave it to me.

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