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A farmer and his recently hired hand were eating an early breakfast of biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon and coffee that the farmer's wife had prepared for them. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, the farmer told the hired man he might as well go ahead and eat his lunch too.

The hired man didn't say a word, but filled his plate a second time and proceeded to eat. After awhile the farmer said, "We've got so much work to do today, you might as well eat your supper now too."

Again, the hired man didn't respond but refilled his plate a third time and continued to eat. Finally, after eating his third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair and began to take off his shoes.

"What are you doing"? the farmer asked.

The hired man replied, "I don't work after supper."
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There are four people on an airplane. The pilot, Нiтlеr, An old man, and a young boy with a backpack. About 20 minutes into the flight the pilot runs out and yells. " The plane is going to crash! Grab a parachute and jump!" The young boy says, " But sir, there are only 3 parachutes. Not all of us will survive." All of the people look at eachother and the pilot says, " I deserve to live." So he jumps out of the plane leaving 2 parachutes and 3 people. Нiтlеr says, " I have done so much to the world. I should live." So he grabs a parachute and jumps leaving 1 parachute and 2 people. The old man squats down and says to the little boy, " Son, I have lived my life to its fullest so you take the last parachute." the little boy says, " thats okay, we still have 2 parachutes." The old man says, " How? Нiтlеr took the other one." The little boy adds, " No he didnt. Нiтlеr took my backpack.
Падобран Parachute Crap Shoot Bush der Papst und ein Schuljunge Flugzeug stürzt ab Бил Гејтс, Меси, Папата и Македонецот A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. В един самолет пътували четирима души. Президент, Професор, Студент и Старец. По едно време самолетът се развалил и пилота им казал, че има само 3 парашута. Президентът грабнал първия парашут и казал: Ένα βράδυ, ένα Delta αεροσκάφος με δύο κινη τήρες, πετούσε με προορισμό το New Jersey. Στο αεροσκάφος υπήρχαν 5 άτομα - ο πιλότος, ο Michael Jordan, ο Bill Gates, ένας ηλικιωμένος και ένας χίππις. Obama, Renzi, il Santo padre ed un giovane studente stanno rientrando da un viaggio diplomatico in aereo. L'aereo subisce un guasto fatale ed i passeggeri sono costretti a buttarsi con il paracadute. A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are all on a crashing plane. An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am... Bush,Haider,der Papst und ein Junge sitzen im Flieger. Plötzlich kommen Turbolenzen auf. Da sagt der Pilot: " Wir stürzen ab! Bitte alle denn Flieger verlassen!" OK es sind 3 Fallschirme aber 4 Personen. Da sagt Bush: " Ich bin der wichtigste und gescheiterste Mann der Welt, ich nehm mir... A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them. The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the... Un avión está a punto de estrellarse. Hay cuatro pasajeros en el avión pero solo tres paracaídas. El primer pasajero dice: "Soy Steph Curry, el mejor jugador de la NBA. Los Warriors y mis millones de fans me necesitan, así que no puedo permitirme morir". Coge la primera mochila y salta del avión.... En Norrman, en Amerikan, en Svensk och en Finne på flygresa. Plötsligt stannade motorn. Piloten kom ut från cockpiten med en fallskärm på sig och sa, - Auto piloten är på men motorn har lagt av och eftersom vi flyger över bergen så finns det inte en... Ein Flugzeug ist am Abstürzen. 5 Passagiere sind an Bord, es gibt jedoch nur 4 Fallschirme. Der erste Passagier sagt: "Ich bin Robert Hartlauer, der größte Fotolöwe. Ohne mich werden die... An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need... Een dokter, een advocaat, een kleine jongen en een priester zitten op een zondagochtend in een klein vliegtuigje voor een mooie rondvlucht boven Nederland. Plotseling krijgt het vliegtuigje motor... En präst, en lärare, en hockeyspelare, en student och den dåvarande presidenten Bush befann sig i ett flygplan som höll på att störta och det fanns bara fyra fallskärmar för dem att dela på.... Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the... En un avión iban 4 personas, un político, un sacerdote, un jugador y un niño. Un motor del avión se estaba incendiando, entonces el capitán dice hay 4 paracaídas, uno para mí y los restos son... Der var tre mand ombord på en brændende flyver. En advokat, en familiefar og en præst. Desværre ville skæbnen at der kun var to faldskærme ombord. Advokaten begyndte straks at tale sin sag og... En un avión iba el Papa, el presidente Clinton, un atlante, un jipi y la tripulación del avión. En pleno vuelo el avión comenzó a fallar, el capitán del avión se dirigió a los cuatro pasajeros y... In einem Flugzeug sitzen 4 Leute: Trump, ein Egoist, der Papst und ein 10-jähriger Junge. Da kommt der Pilot und sagt: „Es gibt ein Problem mit der Maschine, ihr müsst leider alle abspringen. Ich... There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young... Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world... En tysk, en norrman, en pilot och Bellman var ombord på ett flygplan när det plötsligt fick fel på motorerna. Men det fanns bara tre fallskärmar. Då sa Bellman till piloten: - Här har du. Du får... Donald Trump, ein Geistlicher und ein Pfadfinder fliegen mit einem kleinen Flugzeug, das Motorprobleme bekommt. Der Pilot gibt bekannt: „Wir müssen abspringen. Leider gibt es nur drei Fallschirme.... Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Prins Bernhard en een student zitten met z'n drieën in een vliegtuig. Op een gegeven moment vallen allebei de motoren uit en begint het vliegtuig hoogte te verliezen. Er... 5 Leute sitzen in einem abstürzenen Flugzeug, aber es sind nur 4 Fallschirme an Bord. 1. Ronaldo An airplane was once making a routine flight from Hackensack, New Jersey to New York City. The people on board where the world's smartest politician, the pilot (also a father), a Boy Scout,... Em um avião estavam Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, O Dalai Lama e um hippie e 5 para quedas. A certa altura, o piloto aparece e diz: — Senhores o avião está caindo, salve-se quem puder.... Donald Trump ein Prominent ein alter Opa und ein kleines Schulkind sitzen im Flugzeug. Das Flugzeug ist gerade am abstürzen, es gibt aber nur 3 Fallschirme, Donald Trump sagt ich nehme den ersten... Egy repülőgépen utazik Bush, Gorbacsov, Ceaucescu és a Pápa. A gép egyszer csak kigyullad és zuhanni kezd lefelé. A pilóta így szól: - Baj van uraim! Öten vagyunk, és csak négy ejtőernyőnk van.... Aux journées portes ouvertes d'une base militaire, trois personnes ont gagné à une tombola un tour dans un petit avion avec un général de l'armée française. Les gagnants sont: Un scout, un vieil... Čech, Rus, Američan a Brit letí letadlem. Náhle se jim vznítí motor a mají jen tři padáky. Prvního padáku se chytí Rus a vyskakuje se slovy: „Jako příslušník nejinteligentnějšího národa mám právo... Su un aereo c'è Berlusconi, il papa, il pilota, un bambino scout e Bush. L'aereo comincia a precipitare, ma ci sono solo 4 paracaduti. Allora devono decidere chi si deve salvare. Il pilota va... The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the... Ein Österreichischer Pilot, ein Deutscher ein Franzose und ein Russe fliegen in einen Flugzeug. Auf einmal hatte das Flugzeug keinen Sprit mehr. Der Österreicher sagte: "Wir haben nur 3... Obama, Berlusconi, un Papa e un bambino stanno facendo un viaggio in aereo. L'aereo subisce un guasto e i passeggeri si devono buttare con il paracadute ma c'è un problema: ci sono 4 persone e 3... Van e un avion Obama,Cristiano Ronaldo,Zapatero,El papa y un niño de 5 años y llega y dice el piloto que el avion esta teniendo un problema y que hay que saltar pero solo hay 4 paracaidas. Dice... En un avión viaja Ronaldo, la mujer de Bush, Bush, el papa y un niño. Aparece un cartel "Atención, sobre peso, sobre peso" Y Ronaldo dice: - Yo como soy un jugador muy bueno me tengo que salvar.... In einem Flugzeug sitzen, neben dem Piloten, George Bush, Helmut Kohl, der Papst und ein Student. Plötzlich gerät das Flugzeug in heftige Turbulenzen und droht abzustürzen. Von den insgesamt 4... Der Präsident der USA, der klügste Mann der Welt und eine 5.-Klässler (ein kleiner Jung) sitzen im Flugzeug. Plötzlich bekommt das Flugzeug Probleme und fängt an abzustürzen. 3 Fallschirme stehen...
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So theres this christian man and hes on top of his roof, because hes getting floded, the water is up to his ankles, and he prays to god.
Man: please god, please can you save me.
Ten minuets later a small dingy comes along and the people inside shout to him.
"If you climb on board we will save you from the flood.
Man: no god will save me, go save someone elce.
So the people in the dingy went, 10 minuets later the water rises up to his waist, and he prays again.
Man: god please can you save me from this terrible flood.
Then a small motor boat comes along and the men inside say to him:
"Come on board and we will save you"
Man: no god will save me.
Ten minuest later the water is up to the mans neck and a helicopter flys past and sees him, the send down a rope ladder for him to climb up but the man refuses and shouts up "gods gonna save me go help the others"
So the helicopter dissapears, 10 minuets later the man drowns and in heven he says to god man: god why didnt you save me?
God: well i sent 2 boats and a helicopter!
Los barcos y el naufrago pidiendo ayuda πιστη στο θεο Θεϊκή παρέμβαση Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled: Un curé qui se promène dans la nature est pris dans les sables mouvants. Alors qu'il s'enfonce jusqu'au aux chevilles, un camion de pompiers passe par là. Един човек бил много вярващ. Уповавал се на Бог за всичко. В селото, в което живеел, завалял проливен дъжд. Реката придошла, излязла от коритото си и заляла улиците. Хората започнали да се спасяват кой както може! Само вярващия човек седял пред прага на къщата си и си повтарял: "Бог ще ми... Станало голямо наводнение. Водата започнала да нахлува в сградите. В една къща набожен човек стоял се молел на Господ да го спаси. Водата стигнала до първия етаж. Докато човекът се молел, покрай къщата му минал друг човек с лодка и му викнал: - Качвай се в лодката и да се спасяваме! Набожният... Un curé est en train de se noyer au milieu d'un fleuve. Par chance, il passe une péniche qui lui envoie une corde : "Accrochez vous, mon père!" lui lance le batelier. Le curé répond "je vous remercie mon, fils, mais je fais confiance à Dieu pour me sauver". Le curé est toujours en train de se... Ein Mann wurde ins freie Meer geworfen. Kommt ein Boot vorbei. Kapitän: "Soll ich dich retten?" Mann: "Nein, Gott wird mir schon helfen!" Nach einer Weile kommt ein weiteres Boot. Kapitän: "Soll... Rencontre avec Dieu Un homme veut mourir en s'enfonçant dans les sables mouvants, mais des pompiers viennent le chercher : "Monsieur, nous allons vous tirer de là." "Non, je veux que Dieu me... Uma pequena cidade do interior estava enfrentando uma enchente, cada vez mais o nível do rio estava subindo, então resolveram evacuar a cidade. Levaram toda a população embora, menos o padre que... A man was drowning and asked God to help him. A boat came by wanting to help the man. The man refused and said that God would save him. The man drowned and went to heaven. He asked God why... A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said... Er was eens een man die het oerwoud in wilde. Dus ging hij op een dag het oerwoud in. Toen hij daar eindelijk aangekomen was, bleef hij vastzitten in het drijfzand. Hij zei: "Geen paniek, God helpt... Powódź w prowincjonalnym miasteczku. Ewakuacja ludności. Wojsko puka do kaplicy: - Proszę księdza, niech ksiądz ucieka! Ksiądz się utopi! - Nigdzie nie idę, wierzę w Opatrzność Boską. Po trzech... Det var en gång två män som hette Frank och Peter.. En dag så blev det Översvämmning och deras vägar var dränkta.. Så kom Peter med en kanot till Franks hus och sa - Kom ut därifrån du kommer... Een man staat tot z'n knieen in het water, komt er een speetboot aan en stopt even om de man uit het water te halen. Zegt de man in het water: "Nee, dat hoeft niet want god komt mij redden." Poosje... C'est un croyant qui est dans le sable mouvant:il en a jusqu'aux genoux les pompiers viennent il dit "Dieu va me sauver". Il en a jusqu'au torse les pompiers reviennent, il dit "Dieu va me sauver".... Un calugarul cade in mare. Apare imediat o barca cu salvamari: - Va simtiti bine? Aveti nevoie de ajutor?! - Nuu! Dumnezeu ma va salva el pe mine... Mai inghite calugarul niste apa ... Si mai vine... C'est un curé qui est en train de se noyer dans un lac. Les pompiers arrivent et veulent le sauver mais le curé dit "Dieu me sauvera". Donc les pompiers rentre a la caserne mais leur chef  les... Habia un hombre que se cayo al mar y se estaba ahogando aparece un barco y le dice dale subi y el hombre dice no a mi me va a salvar dios aparece otro barco y le dice lo mismo y el hombre dice no a... Egy pap fuldoklik a folyóban. Arra megy egy gátőr és felé nyújt egy hosszú rudat. - Fogja meg, kihúzom! - Nem, köszönöm, az Isten majd segít! - Fogja már meg, kihúzom!- erősködik a gátőr. - Hagyja... En präst håller på att drunkna i havet och en båt kör förbi. De på båten frågar: - Vill du ha hjälp? Prästen svarar: - Nej tack, Gud kommer att rädda mig. Båten kör förbi och efter ett tack kör en... Un cura seva ala selva y caen en arenas mobedizas biene un bombero y le dice señor necesita ayuda no¡ dios me salbara.... luego viene otro vombero i le dice señor neesita ayuda i dice no¡ dios me... A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says, "I have faith, God will save me." The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue...
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A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we’re off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. “I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but comfortable, compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
“What are you doing here?” asked the captain.
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe .”
“I see,” the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s sсrеwing me.”
“He certainly is,” replied the captain, “this is the Staten Island Ferry.”
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An Englishman, a German and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of вооzе when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible сriме of actually being caught consuming the вооzе, they are all sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a sтrоке of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Frenchman was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly:
"Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly.
The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Englishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.
The Englishman smiled and said, "Tie the Frenchman to my back."
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1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves.  Ten were laid off.
2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin…. and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate
3. Iron man now “air-pooling” with Superman to save fuel costs.
4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money
5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what’s the easiest way tomake a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.
6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.
7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.
8. Q: What’s the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks, nothing.
9. Dow Jones is re-branded as “Down Jones”.
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Just married Το λοιπόν γινόταν ένας γάμος στην Κρήτη Тепачка на селска свадба Falusi lagziban hatalmas botrány tör ki, mert a vőlegény belerúg a menyasszonyba. A botrányból verekedés lesz, majd az egész társulat a rendőrségen köt ki. Miután az orvos ellátja a sérülteket, a... Na jednoj svadbi se desila tuča, tako da je morala prisustvovati policija. Nekoliko svatova pohapse i odvedu na policiju. Poicajac sada ispituje prvog uhapšenog za zapisnik. Ovaj priča: - "Pa tako... Tout le monde étant en état d’ébriété avancée, la fête de mariage avait tourné court. Au cours de la soirée, la bière et le whisky aidant, une bagarre éclate entre les deux familles. La police... Tout le monde étant en état d'ébriété avancé, la fête de mariage avait tourné court. A l'issue du repas, les représentants masculins des deux familles concernées en étaient venu aux mains. La... Et ungt par var lige blevet gift, og hele familien var nu i retten. Dommeren bad forloveren fortælle, hvad der var sket ved bryllupsfesten. Jo, forklarede han, - det er jo en tradition, at...
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