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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked,
"Is someone in your house?" and George said,
"No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said,
"Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said,
"I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
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I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes. But that's Heinz sight for you.
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Does anyone else say their surname and spell it straight after cos no one knows how to spell it?
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Once upon a time, I was young and broke. But through years of hard work and dedication, I'm now no longer young
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NeverEnding story when i was a kid. NeverEnding story as an Adult
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There is always bigger fish
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Noise cancelling toilet
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My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more.
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Do you think they called the 'Saw' films saw so that people would say:
"Did you see Saw?"
"Yeah I saw Saw."
"Did you see Saw 2?"
"I saw Saw 2 too"
"Did you see Saw 3?"
"No but I saw Saw 4"
"Why would you see Saw 4 before you saw Saw 3 for?"
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The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. My phones calendar goes waay past that.
In a world that doesn't, Droid Does.
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I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said,
"Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"
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I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta, now it’s a Ford Focus.
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Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fат people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks
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I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
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Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do
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A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
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I wasn’t staring at you I was trying to figure out if that’s your forehead or the moon
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