Coffee Jokes

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How does a tech guy drink coffee?
He installs Java!

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What do you call it when cafe customers joke about their coffee?
A brewhaha.

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What does a coffee lover say when they’re hitting on you?
I’ve been thinking about you a latte.

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Why are Italians so good at making coffee?
Because they know how to espresso themselves.

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How are coffee beans like kids?
They’re always getting grounded!

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If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.

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Why are all Jewish men required to make a good cup of coffee?
Because according to the Torah, He Brews!

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Someone stole my coffee cup from work today.
I’m just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.

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How does one bad cup of coffee end a marriage?
One person thinks it’s grounds for divorce.

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What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
Déjà brew.

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What did the barista’s Valentine say?
I can’t espresso my love for you.

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What’s the technical name for a рот of coffee at work?
Break fluid.

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What’s fат, hairy, and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!

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Soup of the day: Coffee.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.

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What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?
“What’s Sumatra with you?”

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I’m about to have a dangerous cup of coffee…
Safe tea first, though.

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Every morning, I see this exhausted woman who looks like she would мurdеr someone for a cup of coffee.
I really should move that mirror.

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Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso?
It’s a cheap shot.

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