Computers

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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.

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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

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What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called?
8.5 minutes burned processor.

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Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.

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You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.

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What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.

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This website may not be idiот proof, but at least it’s diмwiт resistant.

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Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.

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A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."

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I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.

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How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home?
Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.

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There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck norris is always in control

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Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.

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Boy texted his dad saying
Boy:I got expelled
Dad: WHAT WHY
Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my воnе but words will never hurt me
Dad: and
Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose
Dad : lol that's my boy

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Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"

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C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?
A: Hairy Reasoner.

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