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Вицове свързани с компютри English Computer-Witze, Computerwitze,... Chistes y anécdotas informátic... Анекдоты про компьютер Blague informatique, Blague W... Barzellette Computer Ανέκδοτα για υπολογιστές Вицеви за компјутери Bilgisayarlar hakkında fıkrala... Анекдоти комп'ютерні Piadas sobre computadores Dowcipy i kawały: Komputery Dataskämt och IT-vitsar Computer Moppen, Computer humo... Vittigheder om computere Datavitser Tietokonevitsit Számítástechnika viccek Bancuri Calculatoare, Bancuri ... Vtipy o počítačích Anekdotai apie kompiuteri, Kom... Anekdotes par programmētājiem ... Kompjuterski vicevi
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Computers

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Аз Yo intentando recordar la contraseña que creé ayer... Я Ich Moi qui essaie de me souvenir du mot de passe que j'ai créé hier... Io che cerco di ricordare la password che hо creato ieri... Eu tentando lembrar a senha que criei ontem...
Me trying to remember the password I created yesterday...
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Чувството като спре нета Følelsen når internettet ikke virker.
That feeling when there’s no internet.
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Това устройство можеше да предвижда входящи телефонни повиквания. Cet appareil pouvait prédire les appels téléphoniques entrants.
This device could predict incoming phone calls.
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Η ξανθιά στον υπολογιστή Comment faire pour savoir qu'une blonde a travaillé sur un ordinateur? Il y a du liquide correcteur sur l'écran.
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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Почина човека
The man who created autocorrecthas died.
Restaurant in peace!
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- Абе Гоше I am often asked Дорогой Гугл Google et les femmes Google es como una mujer Google ist definitiv weiblich. Sie lässt dich nicht ausreden Q. What do women and Google have in common? A. They both can’t ever let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion. Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female Er Google en mand eller en kvinde? – En kvinde Google Er Google en hun eller en han? Det er en hun Hvordan man med sikkerhet kan si at Google er ei kvinne? - Du får aldri sjansen til å fullføre en setning uten at hun kommer med et forslag. Google е женско 100%! Има одговор за се. - Τo google είναι θηλυκό ή αρσενικό? - Θηλυκό
Q: Is google a boy or girl?
A: Obviously a girl because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
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optimist Оптимистите твърдят Pour une personne optimiste - Para el optimista Der Optimist: "Das Glas ist halb voll" Der Pessimist: "Das Glas ist halb leer" Der Ingenieur: "Das Glas ist doppelt so groß wie es sein müsste" El Optimista ve la botella medio llena El pesimista medio vacía Y el ingeniero ve que la botella tiene el doble de tamaño del necesario para esta solución particular.
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.
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1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
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What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
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Why should you never fаrт in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
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Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue.
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As Computer Tech I sometimes help clients over the phone. Here is a recent phone dialogue I had with one of my customers.

Tech: Workshops can I help.
Customer: My dog is not barking, how can I make it bark.
Tech: I am sorry mam but this is not SPCA
Customer: I know that but how can I make the dog on my computer bark.
Tech: Do you mean a dog in a computer game or something?
Customer: I mean a small dog that comes on when I type in Microsoft Word.
Tech: Are your speakers on?
Customer: No
Tech: Turn on your speakers and you will hear your dog barking when it barks
Customer: Ooooh why didn’t I figure that, thanks so much
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You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... 
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. 
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. 
· All of your friends have an @ in their names. 
· Your dog has its own home page. 
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. 
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. 
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher." 
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg. 
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
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A blonde walks into a store that makes curtains. She says to the clerk, "I would like curtains the size of my computer screen. The clerk says, "Why the size of you computer screen?" The woman replies, "Because I've got windows!"
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Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
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Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Pour some hot water around the edges and then gently tap it with hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"We now need a new computer."
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I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.
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