Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said,
"I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee рот for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table, watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirтy socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In the bedroom, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.
About that time, hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular "I'm going to bed,", and he did.
One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, I bumped into an old friend of mine, Rob, from high school. “You look great Rob, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be at least 65 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” I exclaimed.
“I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied Rob.
“That’s incredible,” I said, “Does it run in the family? How old was your dad when he passed?”
“Did I say he was dead?” asked Rob. “He’s 81 and is more active than ever. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team!” responded Rob.
“Whoa! Well, how old was your Grandfather when he died?”
“Did I say he died” asked Rob. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! He’s actually getting married this week!"
“Getting married?!” I asked. If he’s 105, why on earth does he want to get married?!
Rob looked at me, smiled, and replied, “Did I say he wanted to?”
The afternoon before the wedding, the groom Josh and his dad Dave are sharing a drink among the guests. Dave makes a bet with his son… …
…
“$500, even money, that I can shаg your mother tonight more times than you sсrеw the brains out of your new filly,” dad says. …
…
It sounds like a sure bet to Josh and he shakes his old man’s hand… “You’re on, dad.” …
…
The wedding and reception go off without a hitch. Later, back home, Josh’s dad climbs in bed and his wife finds him very amorous. When he’s done, he looks over at the night stand for something to tally his accomplishments, No pen or paper, but his eyes rest upon a pointed letter opener. Dave looks at the old, dark varnish on the bed’s headboard and proudly gouges a deep, bold tick-mark into it. ….
…
After a short snooze Dave nudges his wife and they go at it again. A little winded, Dave scratches another tick-mark alongside the first one. …
….
Dave falls asleep again, but wakes up, determined not to lose the bet. It takes him quite a while to сliмаx, and he is quite out of breath. It is all he can do to scratch the third tick-mark and he falls on his pillow and sleeps hard. …
…
About 11AM, he is shaken awake by his son. “Dad! Dad! my wedding night was fabulous! How about - ” Josh stops mid- sentence looking at the headboard. …
…
“Wooohoo, dad! ONE HUNDRED ELEVEN??? Wow, you beat me by three!”