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Dracula visits his doctor and says, “Doctor, I’m really worried. For a while now, there was no blood in my stool.”
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I went fishing for the first time. I learnt that fish can breakdance. Only for 1-2 minutes, but still.
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Of course God exist. How else could those foolish atheists explain that my girlfriend got pregnant without us ever sleeping together?
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Майка - акула инструктира малкото си акулче как се лови човек:
Учела значи старата
Голямата акула към малката:
Haifisch-Papa und Haifisch-Sohn unterhalten sich:
A mother shark is teaching her young how to eat humans.
Мама-акула учит акулёнка правильно есть людей:
Ανέκδοτο Τοπ: Μπαμπάς καρχαρίας προς γιό…
Маленький акуленок говорит маме:
Ο μπαμπάς καρχαρίας εκπαιδεύει τον νεαρό καρχαρία
Dois enormes tubarões brancos observam os sobreviventes de um naufrágio. — Siga-me
Vater und Sohn Hai drehen ihre Runden um ein paar Schwimmer. Sagt Sohn Hai: "Wann fressen wir die"? Vater Hai: "Noch eine Runde
Twee grote witte haaien zwemmen in de oceaan en spotten twee overlevenden van een gezonken schip. "Volg me zoon
A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers Properly.
“So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And Then you go at them full blast and eat them.”
“OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right Away?”
“I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all That shiт in their intestines?”
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The doctor has given me two months to live.
I've chosen August and December, because I like summer but don't want to miss Christmas.
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C'est un type qui sort de chez le docteur. Il appelle l'ascenseur
- Doctore
An old man is walking in the hospital and talks to himself:
- Aquarius?... no, no no... was it gemini?... naaah...
Young doctor cant stand it anymore and walks to him:
- Cancer grandpa, you got cancer!
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Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being rареd by a giant praying mantis.
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Good-bye cookies, hello diabetes!
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A lot of things can кill you now. Ain't this ridiculous? Mosquitoes can кill you now. Do you know how mad I would be if I died from a mosquito bite? I'm a black man, grew up on the south side of Chicago. I've avoided drug dealers, gang bangers, sickle cell, high blood pressure, the police -- and now a mosquito gonna take me out?
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I saw a sign on the side of the road the other day that said, 'Tiredness can кill.' I didn't know that. Last Saturday, I stayed up all night watching movies. I could have died.
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He was a cop for 20 years, and he was always bragging:
'You know, I was only shot in the arm once.' Well, according to my mom, she said, 'If I would've aimed better, I would have gotten him in the head, the son of a вiтсh.'
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I think God made a mistake, though. He should have left us all with soft spots. Then we'd all be a little more vulnerable and maybe nicer to each other. You wouldn't be so quick to infringe in someone's freedom if they could just воinк ya and кill ya.
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Boy: whats up bra
Girl: nothing much how you doing underwear
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What's white and hangs in trees?
A fridge.
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My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.
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Suскs when the sтuрid evil motherf*cker going over shiт for this site deletes your joke, barely giving it a chance. What an аsshоlе.
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Its f*cking annoying when your joke gets deleted. Kickass if you agree.
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