Dirty jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

For christmas a little boy asked Santa "Please can you send me a sister?" So Santa answers "Okay just send me your mum!"

0

0

So a kid goes up to his father and says..
"Dad I had sеx today!" Then the Dad says
"Good son good come sit down with me".
Then the kid says.. "I cant, my аss hurts".

0

0

Never judge a book by it’s cover. I ordered a book online last week from Holland called ‘Creamy Jugs’ only to find it’s a book about 18th century cattle farming equipment.

0

0

How 'bout jollying my roger? Yar!

0

0

How do all those drugs enter into our prisons they are smuggled in by some asshole

0

0

Nixon, Carter, Kennedy are on a boat. The boat's going down. Carter says, 'Women and children first.' Nixon says, 'Sсrеw them.' Kennedy says, 'Do you think we have time?'

0

0

Spell:
"Racecar" backwards
Spell:
"Dogfoodlid" backwards
*Hint: USE A PIECE PAPER

0

0

At least сunтs are useful you're not.

0

0

$27 million to find gаys in the army -- $27 million? Walk up to a guy, go, 'Clang, clang, clang,' -- if he goes, 'Went the trolley,' you found him. Save the money.

0

0

I love creature comfort. That's why when I'm coming off a relationship, I like to shave my left leg. That way when I roll over at night, it feels like there's a woman in bed with me.

0

0

I'm reaching my sеxuаl peak here, tonight. It's really kind of sad, though, because women reach it at 35 and men reach it at 18. It's really depressing because now I have to drive past high schools to find guys in their sеxuаl peak.

0

0

A boy goes up to a girl during school and asked if she would like to go over his house after school and she said yes then the boy said that they would have to use code because I share a bunk bed with my little brother and he thinks we are making sandwiches so for harder u say tomato and for faster u say is cheese so they go to his house latter on add she says tomato tomato cheese cheese hen the little brother asked if they could stop making sandwitches because they are getting mayo all over him bed

0

0

Yet another one of my original jokes stolen by some соскsuскеr that flipped a couple of words making it seem like it's his or her shiт while not realizing people like myself and others who's jokes have been taken and re-worded won't read them and won't think that it's actually their actual joke that they f*cking came up with. Newsflash you motherf*ckers, if we thought about them and came up with them then most likely we have them in our notebooks that we keep and we know exactly when and where and the time it was when we finalized the joke and wrote it in our notebooks. This is about that b*tch аss hое that posted the joke about the "diск and the ваlls, let's go out. no whenever we go out you leave us knocking." FUСК YOU for thinking you got it but b*tch your shiт version is f*cking sтuрid and not original. Вiтсh acknowledge that the joke was from someone else and your using it then i don't have an issue with it because i do exactly that, if it's not mine and i post it i always always always make sure to note that it's not an original by me.

0

0

Pulled my groin the other day -- for about 20 minutes.

0

0

Whats worse than finding a hole in your соndом?
Finding a соndом in your hole!

0

0

Kids these days have got it so easy... when I was a kid, there wasn't any paedophiles about so we had to buy our own candy!

0

0

Little Johnny walked in on his parents doing it. "What are you doing" he asked. The father quickly replied, "Oh, I'm playing cards. Your mother is my wild card."
"Oh, ok" Johnny replied. The next day, Johnny walks in to a room to find his father маsтurватing. He says,
"What are you doing".
"Oh playing cards again" the father replied. "But wheres your wild card" Johnny asked. His father looks at him seriously and says,
"Son, you don't need a wild card if you have a good hand"

0

0

What’s the difference between Rolf Harris and an Israeli soldier?
When Rolf fuскs children he always takes them to McDonald’s first.

0

0