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Dirty jokes

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I shagged a bird last night. Keep it quiet though, I don’t want her to find out.
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My longest record without маsтurватing is 11 years!!!! That was the first 11 years of my life.
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Hi,
I feel so dirтy right now, PLEASE DO ME!
Love,
The Dishes
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Saw a торlеss women get attacked by a couple of teenage girls today while she was sunbathing on the beach.
I tried to help but I could only knock one out.
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Two girls one cup. Kickass if you get it.
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Got some condoms earlier today from the self checkout machine at the supermarket and it said “Unexpected item in the checkout area”… cheeky b*stard.
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There's 3 hippies going on a ride when the van breaks down the start walking about 4 miles later they walk up on a big farm house they walk up on the porch and there was a big fат farm man and his hot daughter they told them the story about there van and he said stay the night ill help yall tomorrow he said I have one rule don't fuск my daughter so all 3 men agreed well its really late and the first guy wakes up and goes and fuскs his daughter wakes up the second dude he goes and fuскs his daughter wakes up the third guy he goes fuскs his daughter well that next morning the big farm boy comes out with a gun he aid which one of you f*cked my daughter he said I put green die in her рussy so..... he pulls the first guys pants down his diск was green so he shot him pulls out a knife pulls the second guys pants down his diск was green slit his throat pulled down the third guys pants his diск wasn't green he said hey boy I like you but when he smiled his teeth were green
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I found out that my girlfriend is adopted. I found out in a weird way. Last night, we're in bed, and I'm like, 'Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?' And she goes, 'I don't know.' I'm like, 'What?' She's like, 'Yeah, there's an agency looking for him, and they don't have any clues.'
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I run faster hоrny than you do scared.
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Miss Anders... I didn't recognise you with your clothes on.
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Boys are flirting
Girls are Squirting They get longer
And go in further
After my blowjob
It turns into glob
If want you more
Close the door...
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Wanna get together and test the spring potential of my mattress?
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I was like, 'Shut up, Monica. Shut up. You messin' it up for all the good, honest hos in the world.'
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I sent away for a реnis enlarger. They sent me back a magnifying glass.
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A little girl walks into her parents bedroom one night. "WТF" She screams "And you want me to see a doctor for suскing my thumb.
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Bully: hey nerd
Nerd: oh yeah well your so fат Bully: no I'm not I just have big bones
Nerd: bones don't jiggle
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Bully: You're a fаggот!
Kid: Go fuск yourself.
Bully: Where did you get your comebacks? The dollar store?
Kid: Where did you get your diск? The lego store?
Class: OHHHHHHHH
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I was working a club once, and the waitress came up to one of my buddies, and she goes, 'I really want to sleep with Geoff Keith.' That's me! And then she goes -- I swear to God -- 'But I just know that he's way out of my league.' Does any guy in here have a league? I don't have a league. I'm like the rec center: open to the public. All you have to do is live nearby and sign up.
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