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Q - What's the name of a Muslim mother who loves suскing diск?
A - Yo momma Bin Slobbin'.

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I Bet You Can't Guess These Words
1. F__k
2. P_n_s
3. S_x
4 . Pu_s_
5. Boo_s
6. __Ndom.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1= Fork
2= Pants
3= Six
4= Pulse
5= Boots
6= Random
Dirty minded

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What is the definition of disgusting?
Buying condoms from a secondhand shop.

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I like big girls because, no matter where you grab them, it feels like тiттiеs.

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Guess the words as fast as you can!
1. F_ _ k
2. Boo_s
3. P_n_s
4. D_ck
5. _ _ ndom
6. S_x
7. P_n_s
8. Pu_s_
Answers are:
1. Fork
2. Books
3. Pants
4. Duck
5. Random
6. Six
7. Pulse
8. Pants
Dirty freak.

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Who ya gonna call? How about me?

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Just got my ваlls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is. Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless.

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My daughter will turn 13 in the year 2001. I don't even want to know what kind of sеxuаl practices teenage kids are going to be into by the year 2001. With any luck, everything will be so polluted, she'll be wrapped head-to-toe in plastic and no one will be able to lay a hand on her -- but that's just a father's hope for the future.

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I don't really think anybody gets off properly in 69. Matter of fact, I think 69 is rude. It's rude. It's like saying to someone, 'Listen, we're gonna have sеx, right? But we're gonna go Dutch.'

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My mission is to reach your core.

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Two guys sitting in a bar decide to tell each other what they bought their wives for xmas. 1st guy: I bought my wife a necklace and a diamond ring that way if she hates the necklace she can still wear the ring. 2nd guy: I bought my wife an imported gold ornament and a car that way if she doesn't like the ornament she still has the car. A drunк guy sitting next to them says "I bought my wife a t-shirt and a viвrатоr... that way if she doesn't like the t-shirt she can go fock herself

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I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.

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A guy goes to see a doctor who asks him, "What seems to be the matter?"
The patient answers, "You have to promise not to laugh."
The doctor nods, and the patient pulls down his pants and reveals a very small реnis.
Holding back laughter, the doctor managed to ask, "What's the problem?"
The patient replied, "It's swollen."

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When I got married all my friends gave me grief about it. They're like, 'Man, you only get to have sеx with one woman for the rest of your life,' which that's turned out to be true. But one woman is actually a helluva lot better than the nobody I was working with before.

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One of the things I was worried about: moving in with my wife. I was worried that it wouldn't be as fun as living with my roommates because they used to play practical jokes on me. It was such a blast. But my wife is just as much fun. She has this great trick she plays on me: I come home, and she's in bed with this guy named Jeff. I assume he's an actor, just for the joke -- and it's great -- I come in, and she's like, 'Oh my God, you're home! What the hеll are you doing here?' And then I leave. She's so funny. You guys don't think she's cheating on me do you?

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The longer I let her
Harder the better
More blowing and funny
Equals more money
Where to get fed
In the couch or bed
Bed seems nice
Couch has mice
And they will bite
My diск is in fright
But it's already occupied So fuск off and die

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I tried to talk this girl into it. I was like, 'Hey girl, let's make one of those sеx tapes.' She’s like, 'That sounds good, Dave. We just got to get somebody else to play your part.'

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My wife loves to scream when having sеx.. especially after I walk in on her.

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