Dirty jokes

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Brother was sсrеwing his sister. Sister-your рriск is longer than dads. Brother-yah, even mom says so.....!!!!!

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My brother had a vasectomy a few years ago. Yeah, he found out the hard way it doesn't always work. And it can make your baby black.

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I read in the paper a couple of days ago that the number one thing that guys say when they get picked up for soliciting prostitutes is they say that they were asking for directions. So that means conversations like this are taking place outside my house:
'Excuse me, ma'am, can you tell me how to get to the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Оrаl Sеx?'
'Oh, you want to get to the corner of Sunset and Оrаl? You're gonna want to take $75 Street.'

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Teacher: Ok class, what comes after 69?
Cool kid: Mouthwash
Me: Says the one that won't get anything
Cool kid: Suск my ass
Me: Not until you shave it Bigfoot

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Cant believed how кinкy the hotel is where I’m staying. Apparently the роrn is disabled.

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There was a young man from Calcutta
Who spent his life in the gutta.
Till the tropical heat
Got the best of his meat,
And turned his cream to butta.

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You are worthy of assimilation.

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BBC are planning on releasing a re-run of Jimmy Saville’s successful show, with a new title of “Jim’ll Fist It”.

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Singer: singing lalala
Audience member: why do u have a small mouth?
Singer: To make diскs like yours seem big

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My girlfriend had her teeth whitened the other day. Well actually most of it went on her сhin.

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Why was the gаy guy gаy?
Because he couldn't think straight.

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A priest lost his rooster and he comes to church and says anyone here see a соск? All the women raise their hands. "I'm not talking about that kind", he says. Then he says,
"Anyone here have a соск?" All the men raise their hands he says,
"Again, I'm not talking about that kind!" Then he says,
"Anyone in here see my соск?" All the kids then raise their hands.

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Every man in here knows the average vаginа only stays ready for 30 minutes. After a while, you're not making love, you're making a campfire.

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I've got a state-of-the-art nail gun.

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Being paranoid will save your life -- 'cause that's the difference between hooking up with the first thing you see, or saying, 'Hey, that may not be a beauty mark on your lip. And, if it is, it looks like you've got another one coming in.'

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So this man had a small реnis and he found this really hot girl, they liked each other very much but he didn't want her to know he had a small реnis.
For the past two years, they have sеx in the dark but one night she wanted to do it with the light on and she turned it on and saw the dildо.
Wife: explain the dildо!!
Husband: explain the kids!!

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African: 8======D
European: 8===D
Chinese: 8D

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I only have three requirements when it comes to girls. Ready? One: are you a girl? Have you always been a girl? And, if not, can you keep a secret?

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