Dirty jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Boy: MOM MOM MOM!!! I sold my soul for aids
Mom: Boy what is wrong with you??
Boy:....... I got aids

0

0

Got a really nasty injury today from a mouse trap I didn’t see. That’s the last time I ever do push-ups in the nudе.

0

0

Many fishermen call themselves master fishermen. What should a fisherman not be known for being masters of?
Fishermen can call themselves masters of tying, lining, and hooking, but never baiting. Master baiters are looked down upon.

0

0

What happens when batman sees catwoman? The dark knight rises

0

0

Toaster: I want you inside me.
Toast: That's Hot.

0

0

A man goes to the toilet. Another man rushes into the same cubicle sits on the guys knee and starts crapping everywhere.
The guy looks and sees the guy sat on the toilet and says:
"Oh I am ever so sorry about that I didn't see you."
The guy sat on the toilet says:
"Don't worry. I pulled your trousers up before you could сrар on me."

0

0

Yo hо, Но! And a bottle of ruм? Yar!

0

0

I know it doesn't look like a lot to you ladies, but believe me, we do a lot of сrар for that: fight wars, build bridges, pay cover....

0

0

Can you fight the power... in my pants?

0

0

I wonder if people with foot fetishes consider athletes foot an STD?

0

0

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

0

0

There was a man who couldn't talk properly and had a few issues in his head. One day he decided to go and by a bun for his lunch so he went to the bakery and said "I need a вuм, a вuм for lunch." so he got a bun and went to a hardware store to get a bucket "I need a f*cket, a f*cket to hold some water." The man then decide to go to the pet shop to by a cocker spaniel dog he said "i want a cocknstrokeit, a cocknstrokeit dog." As he was messed in the head he decided not to give it a name. When he was walking home with his cocknstrokeit, his f*cket and his вuм, his dog ran away and he said to the guy next to him, "Hold my вuм and f*cket, while i grab my cocknstrokeit.

0

0

I bet you're metric kilotons of fun.

0

0

Just had a message from that girlfriend that she’s had a beautiful little girl weighing 7lbs 3oz. Coincidentally that’s the same size as my c*ck.

0

0

Girl, are you a bowling ball? Because I want to finger you, throw you around and get you to come back for more.

0

0

Can I drop my anchor in your lagoon? Yar!

0

0

What did the gаy dentist say to the gаy patient?
Open wide!

0

0

My foot isn't the only part of me that's lucky

0

0